Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Gas Prices Need to Go back Up

I am uncomfortable that gas prices are falling so dramatically. I got so used to seeing them inch higher and higher that this new trend is upsetting.

Urge Congress to intervene; my eyes got used to seeing a certain alarming increase; now this is confusing me.

Friday, September 22, 2006

I wish I knew you better

I wish circumstances were right for us to know each other better
I like you
(I really like you)
When you look at me I cannot possibly look away
Something grabs me...
My heart seems frozen in time
My thoughts become your thoughts
My words are my 'roses'
My eyes are 'arms' to hold you
Heart to heart
Nothing seems to last forever like a heart touching another heart...
I want your heart to touch mine--desperately.

Spinach is killing people now. So the kids are right...

I think, in honor of tornado watches, we should design our own Tornado Watch for the heartland.

"No Bra on Babs!" A hysterical headline in Drudge prompted by a recent newswire photo of Barbra Streisand sans bra -- in a see-through blouse no less. I say, go ahead, Babs! We will stand behind you.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Album Titles in My Mind...

If I were a musician, these are some album titles I would consider:

Mushroom Breath

Pout Then Pontificate

Dammit! Coffee on My Ten-Dollar Jeans

Don't Play Me Again on AM Radio (It Degrades the Sound)

I want a Relationship (So I can Write a Song about You)

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Conversations at Work

Warning: some objectifying and possibly racist humor

I was watching "Dear Larry" watch porn on the store's computer, and I got a kick of how his face scrunched right up to the screen and he began panting over this one hot Asian chick with particularly large breasts. Then it occurred to me that the photo could have been digitally altered to include another woman's (i.e., a Caucasian woman's) breasts because there was something unnatural about the way those big breasts sat upon that lithe Asian body. In other words, it was "Photoshopped."
How many guys like Larry, I wondered, had spanked to what they thought were authentic Asian women--but in reality were Asians with Caucasian breasts? In this age where anything-is-possible with the help of sophisticated graphics programs like PhotoShop, there could be hundreds of websites floating around featuring Asian women with artificial breasts!
It begs the question: How may sick website operators have replaced, say, the necks of naked women with, say, the necks of naked men? Hmmm? This is taking it one step further, admittedly, but it needs attention: They--the website operators--would get their kicks knowing that any male visitor is likely to spank to what he thinks is 100% female--yet in reality is 93% female and 7% male!

There could be hundreds of these "Frankenstein" web sites out there already, featuring mostly-women but partially-men.

The implications are outrageous.