Friday, November 30, 2007

SL/weird glitch leads to The King living on

Due to some glitch, Johnthomas's legs were bowlegged and I was actually taller than he was.
"It's great to see the top of your head," I joked.
It was only a matter of time till we got to an area where JT could take advantage of some steps.
"You are higher than me now," I observed. "And imagine my happiness at seeing the underside of your nose again."
JT dismounted, then the real fun began.
Patric: uh oh... i recognize those clothes
Patric: omg
Patric: is that Big E?


Patric: I didn't realize Elvis was so tan...
johnthomas Jun: in the house!
Patric: are you elvis or don ho?
johnthomas Jun: depends on blood alcohol level
Patric: if i see a lei over your neck i still won't know if you are Elvis or Don Ho
johnthomas Jun: let me relog
Patric: why, do you need sideburns?
Johnthomas Jun: that too
Moments later, Johnthomas Elvis came back and I got a good (side) view of him.
Patric: you look great
Elvis: woo that feels better
Patric: if slightly chunky
Patric: you are the slightly chunky Elvis
Elvis: i love donuts

Then I knew the whole reason for the transformation: "You are no longer bowlegged!"
By shapeshifting into Elvis, Johnthomas had gotten rid of the bowleggedness. Plus, he gained a lot more confidence with women.
Then, between puffs, I thought of the 'Ultimate Elvis.' "Be the fat Elvis," I suggested, "but with a military crewcut."
But by then I saw that Johnthomas was already shedding bits of the Elvis body to return to his former Self. Everything was being replaced, save the legs. Elvis's legs he would keep.
Shoes were a different story.
"Do I really need shoes?" the half-n-half Elvis asked me. "What do you say?"
"No, you're tall enough already."
"Shoes, Patric," a nearby spectator scolded. "Mama didn't raise an ape."
"Can't we settle on sandals?" I asked.
"Why?" the spectator asked.
"I love seeing Second Life toes," I admitted. "Even on men. There were no such thing as Second Life toes until about 3 months ago...Someone finally invented them. The novelty hasn't worn off yet."
"Ick," the spectator said.
"Don't get me wrong--I'd rather see them on women, but until the novelty wears off I'll go ahead and check them out on men too."
"As a creator, especially. I'm always looking out for new ideas."
"Last time I checked I didn't have toes myself," the spectator admitted. "But that was over 8 months ago."
"They could have been invented and attached by now. Who knows."

Thursday, November 29, 2007

SL/Things on screen are becoming more "real"

Hockey -- Second Life Hockey! -- was being broadcast on TV. It is amazing watching a simulcast of a sport that is all about speed...and Hockey speed being no problem in Second Life. We've come a long way in a short time!
My friend Uva Oxide, the walking-talking tree, showed up at the theater while the game was on.

Patric: down in front
Patric: you, the tree, down in front
Uva Oxide: yeah yeah :-P
Patric: this is supposed to be a live broadcast
Uva Oxide: man, I'm that person with the big hair
Patric: lol
Patric: you've finally become that person
Uva Oxide: I like to hide in the back if it's a big crowd ;-)
Patric: you need a trim
Patric: hold on, i got a chainsaw
Patric: j/k
Uva Oxide: yeah been adding branches actually
Patric: oh cool

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Cum on Feel the Noize






JohnThomas was doing a perfect gesture to the above song in tribute to Kevin DuBrow, the late lead singer of Quiet Riot.
He wanted me to join in with the hair.
"Come on, get some hair."
I didn't have any hair in Inventory.
"When they told me I was going bald, JT, I decided to let the hair on the sides grow to my knees."
Patrick: ...and so it remains
Patric: btw i use as much shampoo as you
johnthomas Jun: no way
Patric: my hair is 'transparent' right now, so you can't tell.
Jeniffer Shelford: HEY EVERYONE!
Patric: hi jennifer
johnthomas Jun: hello
Patric: i mean jeniffer
Jeniffer Shelford: It's ok!
Jeniffer Shelford: I get that all the time!
Patric: lol
Jeniffer Shelford: You need to fix your hair.
Patric: i am preoccupied with hair
Patric: i am so tired of hair
Sugar Enoch: LOL,,,, patric
Savannah Ducatillon: I am a hair whore
Kami Singh changes her hair for Patric
Kami Singh: I bet I own more hair than you Savannah :P
johnthomas Jun: battle of the....
bella Fiddlesticks: now now girls play nice before someone loses a weave!!!
Patric: forget all other hair...i'm going to be first one w/ fetish for armpit hair
bella Fiddlesticks: LMAO
Sugar Enoch: eeewwww Patric
Kami Singh: ROTFL Patric
Patric: it's my right
Sugar Enoch: yes it is
Patric: other hair is overexposed
Savannah Ducatillon: arm pit hair huh Patric?
Savannah Ducatillon: eww!
Patric: not saying it's official
Savannah Ducatillon: it should be outlawed
Patric: definitely
Patric: it makes no sense...unlike other hair (snickers)
johnthomas Jun: let's part the hair
johnthomas Jun: hehe
Patric: let's dye one one color
Patric: and the other another color
bella Fiddlesticks: SEXAY

Monday, November 26, 2007

SL/Major Glitch/thank god it was nearing 16:20

The glitch that's been causing men to grow breasts finally caught up to me tonight, and it was my turn to walk around in what appeared to be C (possibly D) cups. I had to take off my shirt in order to view them properly.

Meanwhile, Ulises once again was "all male," so he messaged me.

[16:13] Ulises Snook: hi stoner. doing good?
[16:22] Patric Styrian: stonering as we speak
[16:22] Ulises Snook: i know man
[16:22] Ulises Snook: but good?
[16:22] Patric Styrian: i have breasts
[16:23] Patric Styrian: it finally affected me tonight
[16:23] Ulises Snook: how is it?
[16:23] Patric Styrian: it's a glitch that's been going around
[16:23] Patric Styrian: terrible
[16:23] Patric Styrian: i keep staring at them, but want to cover them up
[16:23] Ulises Snook: i want to see it
[teleports me to him]
[16:26] Ulises Snook: patric
[16:26] Ulises Snook: want a bra?
[16:27] Patrick Styrian: lol
[16:27] Patrick Styrian: no thanks
[16:27] Patrick Styrian: i don't own a bra in inventory, nor do i plan on starting

SL/New Suit

I went to a store called "Nanobricks," where I bought a swimsuit that was only two or three nanometers in size. I wore it immediately to a nearby "swimwear required" beach where I got kicked out for not wearing a suit! Some people!

Then, I wore it to a "wintry wonderland" and--as advertised--got the chills, which makes me think I got extra extra value.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

SL/Encounters in Welcome Area pt. 27/poor Bill

Dannie the tiger was in front of Soy.

"Dannie, why your arms folded? what's wrong?"
(Dannie vanished.)
Soy: I'm sorry to have addressed her just as she teleported out of here
Mack: i'm sure she doesn't mind, soy
Soy: thank u, Mack
Soy: i see you are growing a beard, too
Soy: nice
Mack: i think it's maxed
Mack: lol
Mack: it never gets any thicker, or longer
Soy: i always wish to get thicker and longer...
Bill: sorry to interrupt but is there a problem tonight with clothes and things?
I'm pretty sure I'm not a girl
Soy: Um
(Bill had breasts... With capital Cs.)
Soy: do those things work?
Bill: it must be lag or something
Michel: where are Siegfried and Roy
Bill: is there some way I can reset my look?
Bill: This is not my avatar
Tele Porta: ? bill, what do you mean?
Soy: i think you look fine
Mack: you could try to go into edit>appearance
Mack: that sometimes fixes
Soy: don't regress to a male avatar
Bill: but I'm a guy and it appears to me that my avatar is a girl
Soy: it's ok
Mack: well that's common
Soy: we will hold it against you
Bill Dreamscape: :)
Bill Dreamscape: I am cut to the quick
Tele Porta: bill, did you port into here?
Bill Dreamscape: 'no
Tele Porta: teleport?
Bill Dreamscape: this is my home
Bill Dreamscape: so to speak
Bill Dreamscape: Do I look like a girl to you all?
StiX Harvey: yes bill
Matty Boomhauer: Bill, yes you do
Bill Dreamscape: maybe if I had an IE on the end of my name I could get away with it
Bill Dreamscape: LOL
StiX Harvey: can i have a squeeze bill?
Soy Burger: turn around, "bill"
Bill Dreamscape: I've never been a girl before
StiX Harvey: hehehe
Soy Burger: i didn't see the sillouette of a penis when you turned around
Soy Burger: i think that means it's too late
Bill Dreamscape: oh no, doomed to be a girl
Bill Dreamscape: LOL
Soy Burger: you have your first admirer, Bill
Bill Dreamscape: uh oh
Soy Burger: Bill, i think you are getting more noticed than if you were a guy
Soy Burger: ok, he is signalling his interest
Soy: he has removed his shirt
Bill Dreamscape: he he
Bill Dreamscape: I'm in trouble
lvl3memba Woller: lol
Soy Burger: both men and women signal their interest by removing their shirts
Kristiin Cortes: lol
Bill Dreamscape: lol
lvl3memba Woller: so not true!
lvl3memba Woller: lol
Soy Burger: we saw it with our own made up eyes
Bill got dressed all the way.
Soy Burger: thank you, bill, for getting dressed, finally, because, even though you're not (really) a woman, this is still a PG sim

Saturday, November 24, 2007


I saw Milo making out with Marycat on the beach near the house. There was lots of surf.

This is me standing on their hammock, attempting to surf.
Ulises was there too and I noticed he was not the same as when I saw him last.
"You changed your hair," I said. "And your heels. ...And your breasts."
"I'm bored," he stated.
Ulises had bigger boobs now to play with (if he wanted to...). Every avatar can, with a few minor clicks, undergo a major alteration. He could easily have transformed into a 350lb male motorcycle psychopath if he wanted to. But he chose a more delicate specimen.
As I was standing there, trying to figure him out, a blur caught my attention, and I looked up and darned if it wasn't Santa Claus! He was riding a reindeer about 75 mph. The reindeer was beaming a red light straight ahead.
"It's Santa!" I yelled, snapping pics.
"I don't believe in Santa," replied Ulises.
"I've got pics. Digital pics!"
I don't think Ulises cared. Anyway, I've got the first shot of Santa (possibly) in Second Life so far this year...and remember, this was the tropics.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

SL/Turkey IM

[19:13] Turkey: happy pre-thanksgiving
[19:14] Angelaa: Aww how is Mr. Turkey
[19:14] Angelaa: getting nervous?
[19:14] Turkey: no, calm
[19:14] Turkey: i've accepted my fate
[19:14] Angelaa: still a turkey?
[19:17] Turkey: for now
[19:17] Turkey: soon i will be digested
[19:18] Angelaa: gizzard and all
[19:18] Turkey: i hope they choke on my gizzard
[19:18] Angelaa: lol
[19:20] Angelaa: gobble?
[19:20] Turkey: you don't speak our language
[19:20] Turkey: stop pretending you do
[19:21] Angelaa: lol
[19:21] Angelaa: is it more like gobble gobble?
[19:21] Turkey: if you stutter, sure
[19:21] Turkey: or if you're really hungry

SL/Thanksgiving Eve

I needed distractions so I went immediately to
Laguna Nude Beach.
Celeste Lopez: lol
Celeste Lopez: turkey
Sophia Kittel: shit
Celeste Lopez: yummy
Sophia Kittel: a turkey
Sophia Kittel: hahah
Celeste Lopez: i like white meat plz
Celeste Lopez: hehe
Sophia Kittel: hiya turkey
Turkey: i'm naked except for my hat
Sophia Kittel: are u juicy or dry?
Celeste Lopez: where's the stuffing
Celeste Lopez: hlol
Turkey: saliva starting already i see
Sophia Kittel: do u need to be stufffed?
Celeste Lopez: haha
Sophia Kittel: hehe
Celeste Lopez: loca
Sophia Kittel: hahah
Turkey: i need to relax
Celeste Lopez: give me a knife
Sophia Kittel: i wouldnt relax if i were u
Sophia Kittel: heh heh heh
Celeste Lopez: haha
Turkey: i came to a nude beach so i could relax and spot knives

Zombie Vinson: sorry did i miss anything
Celeste Lopez: we're about to cut the turkey
Zombie Vinson: ohhh yeah happy thanksgiving guys :):)
Celeste Lopez: aww
Celeste Lopez: ty
Celeste Lopez: same to u
Zombie Vinson: i'm in aust...we don't have it here :(


Turkey: mmmm
Turkey: nice thighs
Turkey: juicy breasts
Zombie Vinson: lmfao
Turkey: i'm talking about myself
Celeste Lopez: haha

Still later....
Turkey: this is a nude beach and all i've seen so far nude are guys
Crystalicious Oh: Well, some people dont wanna be nude lol
Turkey: as a turkey i find that perposterous
Crystalicious Oh: Well this is a very nice place
Turkey: i mean preposterous
Turkey: i checked with Google to see if i spelled perposterous right
Turkey: turns out, 10,000 people spelled it wrong too

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Angela hadn't seen me in awhile.

"Are you still a turkey?" she asked.
"Yep. On the run."
Angelaa Capalini: for 2 more days?
Patric Styrian: yeah, need to get lean
Patric Styrian: got 2 days
Patric Styrian: i want to shed 16 ounces

I thought about becoming a fish...
"No one eats fish as far as I know on Thanksgiving," I said.
"...although it would have made sense."

Friday, November 16, 2007

SL/Fact and some fiction

I wandered onto her land.

"Want to eat?" she asked me.

Did I look like I needed to eat? I may live longer.

"It's better to be a bird. Believe me," she said.
Did I hear her right?

"Do you speak?" she finally asked.

It was my turn to talk.

"I speak chicken scratch and turkish," I said.

She had no hair on her head, so I wondered if this signified at attempt to "drop out" of society...thus, her appraisal of birds.

"You know, you can be one yourself," I said.


"A bird. You can be a bald eagle. You can be a turkey vulture too."


"I thought you liked birds..."

"I do like birds. I have one in my house, and one in my skillet right now."


"I eat in front of my parakeet; he doesn't mind."

Traitor, I thought.

"The last chicken I ate had no name. I named my parakeet, though. His name is Spot."

"Even thawed birds deserve names," I reminded her.

"Spot is named after my last pet, a dog." She wasn't really listening.

"Wild," I thought.

"Spot ran away shortly after I got my parakeet. So I just started calling my parakeet Spot."

"Uhhhhh" I said.
---- be continued

Thursday, November 15, 2007

SL/that's what SL pills are for

"I've gone from average height to one of the tallest instantly."

Monday, November 12, 2007

No bounderies

Often I feel we are in a dream world, even though we are told we definitely aren't, and our imaginations fuel other dream worlds, such as Second Life. Second Life is the millionth in a line of succeeding dream worlds, if you believe that imagination follows imagination. For instance, I imagine my character in Second Life imagining his own character (something like a Second Life within a Second Life), just as in real life, going the other direction, I can imagine myself being imagined.
If you think about it...
'Life is imaginary' is just as good of an explanation as 'life is real.'

Sunday, November 11, 2007


More and more events, I'm noticing are becoming 'Thanksgiving'-themed the closer we get to the magical date of 22 November. I have mixed feelings about that date, because although I get to see plenty of Turkeys leading up to it, such as this stately fellow, the fact remains we will be eventually be eaten, no matter what.
Last year, I'm told, most of the turkeys in Second Life got together and tried to escape, symbolically. It's interesting that they were reportedly successful.
For the next week (or so) I'm going to try to find the ringleader of last year's turkey rebellion in case it should happen again. He goes by the name "Pole Tree" I'm told, which is an allusion to "Poultry." "Pole Tree" is said to be such a brilliant escape artist he can literally wait until he's being passed around the table before making his getaway. He launches right off the dinner table, in front of the surprised guests and horrified hostess, turns around and faces them with a big ol' smile on his face--not accusingly--and says: "Happy Thanksgiving," before diving out the window.
He then meets up with all his cohorts near the swamp, and they all press the little red X together, and that's that.

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Speaking of trees...
I followed my good friend Uva Oxide (a tree) into a pop art exhibit where soup cans grabbed hold of us.
They carried us up to the ceiling and told us we were lovers/haters of pop art, before releasing us.
Here is Uva shrugging afterwards.
Here is a full moon seen through one of the windows.

I asked Uva if the moon had any influence over his growth, or was it all sun.
He didn't respond because he'd vanished.

There was no sign of his stump, either, so he was really missing.

SL/Tree house

I'm a turkey again, after foiling the 'freak' in me. Elle helped me become a turkey again, because, as a freak in her club I felt terribly out of place. At least as a turkey people have a reason to smile at me.

This is my neighbor lady's place, who seems to have exchanged her Space Needle apartment for what looks like a treehouse overlooking the pool.

As a turkey, I feel I have a right to stay in her tree house.

Thursday, November 08, 2007


I couldn't rez as my usual avatar, nor could I rez as my back-up avatar (see below), so I ended up being a combination of both: a turkey/elephant (but with a rat's tail) and some human characteristics. (Thank you SL for making me a FREAK.)
I met two women doctors who offered to give me a (non-) free check up.

This is me sitting on the edge of their bed--a freak.

"Examine me please," I pleaded, "and please tell me that I'm a healthy freak."

Freak: ...and again, sorry about the tail
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Is that grey clothes? or are you nude
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Because we are doing a body examination, correct?
Freak: i think it's my skin
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Oh
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Is that your only skin?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..So What Color Would you Expect your Skin Color To Be?
Freak: blushing red
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Considerate Done!
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Alright.. please tell me what you would like. Body examination, correct sir?
Freak: yes, i need to find out among other things if i am in possession of a penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Alright..
Freak: and nipples
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay.
Freak: and if i can be tattooed or not
Dr. Natalie Laughton: We can do a penis transplant
Freak: can i pick which celebrity penis i want?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: sure
Freak: i want the Lou Ferigno
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright
Dr. Natalie Laughton: now this is going to cost for the surgery, and the penis
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Thank you..That's All The Information We Need.
Freak: it will cost me my virginity that's for certain
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..Can we Please Explain To you?
Freak: without a penis i've led a carefree life
Dr. Natalie Laughton: okay sir i think we know enough about your personal life
Dr. Natalie Laughton: now about the transplant
Dr. Evonna Emmons: We Buy The Stuff..And We Help you..So..Yes you would habe to..
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Have*
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Excuse My Language.
Freak: Would you like a man if you knew deep down he didn't have a penis?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok so
Dr. Natalie Laughton: doctor emmons
Dr. Natalie Laughton: how much will the surgery cost?
Freak: this surgery will cost an arm and a leg
Dr. Natalie Laughton: please sir
Dr. Evonna Emmons: The Surgery Will be About..i say 20 Lindens..Because..Its Changed you Very Differently.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and the penis will be 10
Dr. Natalie Laughton: we are very inexpensive here
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok now the penis
Freak: a 10 dollar penis...
Dr. Natalie Laughton: well
Dr. Natalie Laughton: how much do you have
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ?
Freak: my whole lifetime dreaming of one, and you offer a 10 dollar penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: its nice..
Freak: can i see it?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Well In Real Life?you have to Pay For Surgery..So we do It Here.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: lol
Freak: i promise i wont touch it
Dr. Evonna Emmons: lol.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: uhm
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Are you going to Buy it?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ill attach it to my arm so u can see it
Freak: you expect me to make life altering decisions in a hurry don't you?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok
Dr. Natalie Laughton: so when i click it

Dr. Natalie Laughton: it can go regular, and erect
Freak: see me shaking?

Dr. Natalie Laughton: yup
Freak: that means i am thrilled
Dr. Natalie Laughton: okay so want the surgery?
Freak: yes, i think so
Freak: who is going to perform it?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: both
Dr. Natalie Laughton: of us
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Please...Pay The Amount...First.
Freak: Are you both going to be sterile? Or is it my job to be sterile?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..First Before we start The Surgery Can you Please Pay it?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: The Amount...For The Surgery
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Thank you
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Natalie
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Please Give him The Penis.
Dr. Evonna Emmons: He's Paid.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Ok
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Lets do the surgery
Freak: don't hand it to me
Freak: fit it on me
Dr. Evonna Emmons: You have to Have It Sir.
Freak: but i want you to have it
Freak: for awhile
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Ok. Ill tell you what
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ill give it to u, then ill act like i am putting it on after u put it on
Dr. Natalie Laughton: will that make you happy?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: lol.
Freak: no
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Then What Will?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Well there is no other way
Dr. Natalie Laughton: What do you want
Freak: i want you to give me a penis AND one of your lips
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Uh
Dr. Natalie Laughton: We are not permitted to do that
Dr. Natalie Laughton: sir
Freak: you can make copies
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Woah..You Wen't To Far Sir.
Freak: oh, and i don't know which lip
Freak: if i had to choose one...
Freak: i'd say tongue
Freak: forget about lip i want tongue instead
Dr. Evonna Emmons: If you aren't going to Do This Right..Can you Please Just Say So..We aren't Allowed..To Do This..To Any Client Sir..We Are Here To Do our Job..Right.
Freak: wow, that was a lot of capitalization, i appreciate that
Dr. Evonna Emmons: What Color Skin Again Sir?
Freak: um, flesh colored
Freak: turkey colored flesh
Dr. Natalie Laughton gave you Scripted Penis by SH Hospital.
Freak: thank you, i can feel it already
Freak: it's still in my Inventory and wanting to get out
IM: Natalie Laughton: Please attach the penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Okay. Search Scripted Penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and it should come up [so I attach it]
Dr. Natalie Laughton: woops
Freak: it came up under my arm
Dr. Natalie Laughton: let me try this again
Freak: that looks like a mini turkey
Dr. Natalie Laughton: detach it
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and ill give you a new one
Dr. Evonna Emmons Gently Puts Skin Cream On your Skin..
Dr. Evonna Emmons: You Should Turn Color's In 5 Minutes Sir.
Dr. Natalie Laughton gave you New Scripted Penis by SH Hos.
Freak: lol
Freak: what a job
Freak: ok, thank you
Dr. Natalie Laughton: wait
Dr. Natalie Laughton: were not done
Dr. Natalie Laughton: !
Freak: oooh
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Natalie Still Has to Fix Your Skin..
Dr. Natalie Laughton gently applys cream onto Patric's penis area.
Freak: that tingles
Dr. Natalie Laughton puts cream on Patric's penis.
Freak: ice cream
Dr. Natalie Laughton waits a few minutes for the cream to dry.
Natalie Laughton puts lotion everywhere the cream was.
Freak: thanks for not missing a spot
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Anytime.
Dr. Natalie Laughton applys lotion on the penis.
Freak: from now on my penis asks that it be called by its more technical name, cock
Dr. Natalie Laughton: uh ok
Freak: Wait, i forgot to properly name it
Freak: do you want to hold the naming ceremony now?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..We Aren
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Here For This..Can you Please Let is Finish?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright do you need anymore cream or lotion?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Us*
Dr. Natalie Laughton: we need the penis to be erect in order for the surgery to be finished
Freak: ok, which button?

Freak: is there a mole i should be looking for?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: no
Dr. Evonna Emmons: No.Sor.
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir*
Dr. Natalie Laughton: im asking
Dr. Natalie Laughton: are you 'hard'

Freak: i am hard of hearing and hard after hearing
Dr. Natalie Laughton: kk its erect:

Freak: yes, you made it hard
Freak: thank you
Freak: just by talking about it
Freak: the slightest bit of attention, it does its thing
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright... we need to finish attaching your 'cock'

Freak: be sensitive, i'm poultry most of the time
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..Sir.Can you Please Not Intterupt Natalie?She's Trying..To Do her Job..Can you not Leave Any Of your Comments Here Please.

Dr. Natalie Laughton: Thank you ev
Evonna Emmons: I'll Run Down..The Hall..To Get Some..Tools..For This Surgery. [she leaves, Dr. Laughton stays]
Freak: sorry for commenting during your sentence breaks

Freak thinks What's taking her so long?
[from down the hall] Dr. Evonna Emmons: Dr. Laughton-The Receptionist Needs To Talk to you In a Second..Please Finsh What your Are Doing Ma'am
Dr.Natalie Laughton puts a special numbing cream on his balls.
Dr.Natalie Laughton: Ok ill be rite back
Freak: hey wait a sec....
Dr.Natalie Laughton: hm?
Freak: that's the oldest trick in the book, getting called away
Freak: meanwhile i'm sitting here with numbing agent
Dr.Natalie Laughton: sir, ill be right back
Dr.Natalie Laughton: be good please..and we will be good to you
Freak: i'll be good and try not to open any drawers

SL/SL Made Me a Freak

I logged in as an incomplete turkey, which made me not too happy, so I switched to an emergency elephant back-up, which didn't rez properly, either, so this is what I turned into--a freak. The buck teeth and hat are from another avatar that I tried to switch to and failed--a hobo.
I logged out, cleared my cache, restarted my computer, and the problem persisted: I'm a freak.
Problem is, there are still places to go and people to see. Am I going as a freak?
I guess so...
Hallelujah, I'ma freak!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

SL/Missing Milo leads to The Vagina Dialog


I met with Ulises, the Spaniard, who asked if I'd seen Milo, our Serbian buddy, and I had to say "no" (at least not lately). And the word "no" he understood right away, since it was a Spanish word too. He doubly understood me.

"We need to look in Lost and Found," I suggested. (Does Second Life have one?)

"I've looked there already. Nothing," he said.

I told Ulises I had to use the sandbox. "Brb," I told him.

After a minute or so I returned and asked him why he hadn't kept typing while I was away since I use cordless headphones. He didn't understand, so I explained it was okay to keep typing while I was away in real life, since I can hear the typing noises anywhere I go, and I completely understand "typing."

"I can hear every word you're spelling out" I told him.

"Sure..." said Ulises.

Ulises wanted to leave and go somewhere else. Fine, I told him. When he asked what on earth was taking me so long, I told him I was waiting for a leash.

Ulises Snook: Leash?
Patric: I don't go anywhere unless I'm leashed.
Patric: sorry, policy.

"I am not gay," I reminded him after a few moments, "yet get a leash."

We decided to stay.

Ulises at first thought I was Serbian, not a Floridian, because of the "Milo connection." We got to talking about languages and he said he had taken French in high school but needed to brush up on it again. I suggested that Second Life was the perfect place to re-learn it rather than travelling up north. He said most French people speak English in SL.
I said that's only because he hadn't bumped into any yet. "That way you'll at least get reacquainted with the curse words."
He said I sounded American, not Serbian. (I kinda liked the idea I was mistaken for a Serbian.)

"We are all one people," I said.

I said Americans used to be one color: white, with a wee bit of pink. Now we are slowly becoming brown.

"Like a turkey" I said.

Ulises said he had to return to the States soon. To Madison, especially.

"No one's in Madison right now," he said.

"What's her last name?" I asked.

"Madison is a town. lol. WI."

"We don't speak of WI very much for some reason."

"Why not?"

"It is like a secret place. Away from the hubbub."


"Hubbub is like daily fracas. Except 'fracas' has nothing to do with 'France,' except I think they invented it."

He said Madison, WI is a college town with lots of pretty girls, and plenty to drink. I asked how many of them were stoners. He said he didn't think many of them were stoners.

"Too bad," I said. "I'd rather hang out with the stoners than the drinkers."

It was creeping up on 4:20...

[16:10] Patric: i divide the world into two parts
[16:10] Patric: the alcohol users and the rest of us
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i like the beer a lot
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i started late
[16:10] Ulises Snook: 5 years ago or so
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i just drink beer, mostly
[16:11] Patric: do you like it so much you now use it for cooking?
[16:11] Ulises Snook: i don't like the other alcohol drinks
[16:11] Ulises Snook: i just cook chicken with beer
[16:11] Ulises Snook: pollo a la cerveza
[16:11] Patric: if i gave you a beer spiked with wine, would you drink it?
[16:11] Ulises Snook: a mixture?
[16:11] Patric: yes
[16:11] Ulises Snook: no
[16:11] Patric: ok
[16:11] Patric: a true alchy would
[16:11] Ulises Snook: you?
[16:12] Patric: no
[16:12] Ulises Snook: i am not alchy
[16:12] Ulises Snook: i just like beer
[16:12] Patric: i see
[16:12] Ulises Snook: and get drunk with it
[16:12] Patric: beer has made me get to know my bladder more
[16:12] Patric: before, i barely knew it
[16:12] Ulises Snook: bladder?
[16:12] Patric: bladder is the organ which holds urine
[16:13] Ulises Snook: vejiga, i got it
[16:13] Patric: not vejina
[16:13] Patric: bladder
[16:13] Ulises Snook: no
[16:13] Ulises Snook: vagina is other thing
[16:13] Patric: lol
[16:13] Patric: barely
[16:13] Ulises Snook: lol
[16:13] Patric: how do you say vagina?
[16:13] Ulises Snook: same
[16:13] Patric: is it a common spanish word?
[16:14] Ulises Snook: but the g sounds different
[16:14] Ulises Snook: no,
[16:14] Ulises Snook: we say coño
[16:14] Ulises Snook: coño=pussy
[16:14] Patric: we say pussy too
[16:15] Patric: there must be a country where vagina isn't a word and we could move there and name our daughter by that name and encounter no problems
[16:15] Patric: brb
[16:15] Ulises Snook: i think vagina is very common in many languages

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

SL/Good Night pt. 3

Tonight marks the third night I've shown up at this place, and here he is again. This time he's wearing a suit. Meanwhile, his seatmate's beard has grown out a little.

If my calculations are correct, they've earned about $50L, just by sitting there, and eventually they'll go somewhere else where they can earn money standing up.

I once was at a dance hall where you got paid to dance, and the longer you danced, the more money you got. If you went on a break, however, or stopped dancing for whatever reason, you lost all your earnings. You literally had to keep dancing non-stop for 10 hours before they paid you. One couple I saw was into their seventh or eighth hour dancing, and you could tell they were tired. He kept calling her by different names. She stopped using her space bar altogether so her words cametogetherlikethis. I don't know if they finished or not because I was forced to drop out after the first hour because a bot asked me a surprise question while I was away visiting the fridge, and because I didn't answer, I got disqualified by the bot, who assumed I was using a script to stay "alive" in Second Life while sneaking away in real life. Does that make sense? I appealed to the owners of the club to see if I could get my hour back, and they said "no," that I would have to start all over again, and to answer any questions the bot should ask me.

Someone asked me what was the question was, and I said I had no idea. The bot just told me I was "busted" for not answering its question.

When I inquired what the question was, the bot just looked at me.

To me, it seems like bots don't like answering questions themselves.

Monday, November 05, 2007

SL/Good Night pt. 2

Good Night part 2, stoner style (see below for part 1)


I rezzed to the very last place I left (both seats now occupied).

"hello again, Johnni"
"shirtless, enjoying afternoon sun?"
"way too hot"
"who is the dude? next to you?
...wait...i don't know how to refer to him"


Johnnie: i dont know either
Patric: i mean to her
Patric: i mean to him
[18:03] Patric: i mean to her
[18:03] You: this makes me anxious
[18:03] Johnni: never realy looked at it him/her
[18:04] You: you are more interested in making money than looking?
[18:04] You decline The Hummingbird Cafe, Menorca (58, 11, 23) from A group member named Leira Vaughan.
[18:04] Leo Ra [Johnni's real name]: yeah, i'm in im's
[18:04] Leo Ra: i not too long ago came from some club
[18:04] You: it reminds me of the sandwich--club, i don't like it
[18:04] Leo Ra: he has ok looking boobs but i aint tuchen em
[18:05] Patric: please don't call them boobs
[18:05] Patric: please call them breasts
[18:05] Leo Ra: dont know what to call em
[18:05] Turkey: well, we turkeys call them breasts
[18:05] Leo Ra: how about he-she boobs
[18:06] Turkey: it's a unique look
[18:06] Leo Ra: ha yeah
[18:07] Turkey: i think it may have to do with the sun going down
[18:07] Leo Ra: like a druid ha
[18:08] Patric: i stop talking now. i want to watch you guys earning money
[18:10] Patric: that's what i do for fun

Saturday, November 03, 2007

SL/Good Night

In Doll City, which Elle co-founded, there is a camping bench, where a camper can earn $L just by sitting.

Johnni had earned $18L by the time I arrived. I figured he'd been sitting close to an hour.

"Keep it up," I told him. "There's a bonus in it for you."

"Bonus?" Johnni asked.

"Tonight, when the clocks go back an hour, you get an extra hour's payout. Congratulations."
He was stunned. He hadn't thought about the time change, nor had be planned on sitting that long. It was merely 8 o'clock.

"What if I don't want to participate?" he asked.

Was he from another part of the world?

"You must participate, man. You're in too deep already."

"No thanks," he said, standing.

I took over his spot. I wanted to sit on a warm seat, anyway, in preparation for the holiday.

"Not bad," I told him. "I would rate this 175 degrees."

"I'm glad you like it." His body language told me it was time for me to leave.

"I'll leave just as soon as you stop sitting on me" I said.

"What?" his muffled voice said back.

"GET OFFA ME" I shouted.

He had (inadvertantly) sat on me, trying to reclaim the old magic on that side of the bench, I guess, but unfortunately I was still there. He apologized profusely.

"No, I apologize," I interrupted. "I can't tolerate anyone being profuse."

The bench was apparently not big enough for the both of us. So I hopped off.

"I'll be back for any feathers that I may have dropped" I said.

"I'll be sure to save them for you," he replied.

"Good," I said. "And any hairs I stumble across, I'll save them for you too."

"Groovy." He smiled.

"Gracias," I said.

"Gravy" he replied.

"Gross," I whispered.

"Goodnight," he said.
"Good night, indeed, with your bonus and all."