Wednesday, June 27, 2007

SL/Everything makes sense now

[17:44] Milorad Lehmann: in 15 min we going to H&Š
[17:45] Patric: milo can you breathe all right in there?
[17:45] Milorad Lehmann: have some problems in MSN
[17:45] Patric: i can tell
[17:45] Patric: and with gateway
[17:45] Milorad Lehmann: stupid MSN
[17:45] johnthomas Jun: is that a COW
[17:46] Patric: yes
[17:46] Patric: that's where Milo likes to bury his face when he's (Away)
[17:46] johnthomas Jun: OH ok
[17:46] Patric: we don't ask questions
[17:46] johnthomas Jun: sorry
[17:47] Patric: lol, meanwhile angie pulls up on her chicken
[17:47] johnthomas Jun: head stuck in

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I never thought I would see the phrase: "thanks for that meow, dude."

Religious NEWS/Overheard

18:48[Peter]I want to be a scientologist for awhile
18:48 [Peter]they say you can join for like 60 days

Taking it to another level
"I want to join a free masonry lodge undercover as a scientologist."

Sunday, June 24, 2007

SL/Proof of possession in SL

This is Milo juggling while (Away).

SL/Need for Contact

"Which one of you is real? ...One of you showed up as a green dot on my map."

SL/Committee to Preserve the Previous Year

On January 1st of each year they organize and build a sim dedicated to the previous year. For instance, we can go back to the year 2006 thanks to a new "2006 sim," which was completed in May of this year.

SL/It appeared so

This gentleman with the Hasidic beard was looking for the right dreadlocks to buy.


"I spent all day searching for the perfect, and I do mean perfect, armpit hair."

Friday, June 22, 2007

SL/Young Love

Wayne and Kimmy are a real life, as well as a Second Life, couple. I found out some fascinating details about their love lives...

They live together in real life (engaged to be married). He was in the living room as we spoke, she in the bedroom. Both of them could hear each other laughing.

He is 21, she is 20.

They admitted they have sex in Second Life. A lot. And it's enjoyable, too--as in real life.

Kimmy gave me a picture of a smiling Wayne and Kimmy in real life, as well as a blank-faced Wayne-Kimmy Second Life photo. I commented how the the Second Life photo seemed more naturalistic. JUST KIDDING. I asked them if they ever shared the same keyboard. Not yet.

They hang out constantly in Second Life. The only thing they can't do is teleport together. A bug that is still being worked on, I commented.

As it was midnight EST, I left them alone to dance @ Hooters -N- Shooters while I went to bed. They had the whole place to themselves.
Here is a picture I took of Wayne and Kimmy before I left.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

SL/Genesis of this pic...

At Hooters -N- Shooters
I forget what happened, but I said something crazy like I missed "the duck that was here on the La-Z-boy last night." There was in fact a La-Z-boy® on the dance floor, and it did in fact have a duck perched on it last night. Elle, as co-owner of the club, didn't know what happened to the duck or where it was being kept. Sam, one of the male dancers, obliged me by dressing up in a chick costume, which I mistook for a duck anyway...then a bystander, Unix, showed his 'ducky love' by donning the only ducky thing he had in his possession, a ducky flotation device. The whole night was ducky, you might say.

Later, when Sam the bird stood up to communicate, I accused him of pecking, not typing.


"I hope you know, because of that crack, I am using my middle finger to respond to you."

Married in Second Life (and soon to meet in Real Life)

Endlessly Fascinating
The true story of a virtual married couple who have never met in real life, but soon will, thanks to a film crew documenting their lives.
"This is the story of when we joined Second Life, how we met, how we fell in love, and our plans to meet," said Ronda aka Heart Wishbringer on SLProfiles. "The film crews have been hanging out with us in real life filming us, and our families. It should be a very good series to watch. The great thing about it is, when we do finally meet, after having been married on Second Life for over 2 1/2 years, the entire thing is going to be filmed and on that website for the whole world to see."

Follow this link to see the film.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

SL/Milo expen$es

A wedding in Second Life, as it turns out, is expensive, just as in real life. The wedding hall for Milo's wedding, Milo informed me, costs a whopping 7000L$ -- a fortune to a struggling Serbian in SL.
Milo may eventually ask me to hold a benefit for him or something. This would be fun because we can finally see how many pixelated bodies we can cram into the neighborhood pool, as well as raise awareness for Milo's need for a relatively expensive wedding and very expensive honeymoon. This would be best done through a barbecue, I suppose. There is nothing like discussing an upcoming wedding around good barbecue.

The benefit would be poolside, and nudity would be a requirement since not only would it involve barbecue, but it would also involve volleyball. Women are strongly encouraged to attend!!!

We will be holding a "Sexy Watermellon Eating" contest, too.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

SL/Elvis has left entered the building

Inside Graceland (with Yetrates). This was Elvis's own private nightclub within Graceland. Kinda neat. I'm very glad I got to see it.

It seems that Elvis himself might even show up on certain nights.(!)
Graceland has authentic Elvis music streams 24/7.
An ideal place for your every Elvis need.

Then Elvis really did show up!!
To prove I really did see Him, you can see through my spectacles
that I am telling the truth.
For fifteen minutes, we were treated to Elvis hit after Elvis hit. Then the curtain shut (while the song was playing).
I used the zoom key to see if Elvis was up to any hanky panky backstage. Nope, he was still singing as if nothing had happened...

Here is a shot of Elvis singing to the back of the curtain.
Here is a shot of him leaving backstage to come to the front of the curtain.
Just in time for the crucial song...
"Are you lonesome tonight?"
Surprisingly, the middle of the song was a giggle fit.
I began to wonder if Elvis was going to finish it!
"Crap, I'm going to frisk him if he ever finishes this song," I vowed.
Then he segued right into next song without missing a beat. "A Woman Without Love." Flawless.
Before I knew it, another jumpsuit showed up. It became a showdown of 'elvis' proportions. At one point the newer Elvis actually challenged the first Elvis on stage.
By the time the first one got to the bridge of "Keeping You is My Goal," though, the second Elvis had left the building.

Which left just one--the original one, the better one on stage.
Until a white jumpsuited one showed up, like an angel.

SL/Map if you need one

At Hooters -N- Shooters.

After everything had winded down a bunch of us realized we were Floridians. In fact, we had aligned ourselves on the dance floor geographically without realizing it. I had positioned myself on the West side (Tampa Bay), Bongo was in the middle (Orlando), and Babyhoney on the east coast (Daytona Beach). Capping it off, Jason, who had been a conversation-mate of ours, was standing directly north of us in Pensacola.
It all matched up perfectly, like a map.
Hurricane season is upon us. Dear God in heaven, let this not be a sign.

Friday, June 15, 2007


Overheard during breakup IM:
Cosmika: "Sorry, can't talk with you right now."
Ronald: "Just type one word per minute so I know you're okay."

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Joan Osbourne

Joan Osbourne was giving a live performance in the Peacock Room at NBC's studios in the Rockefeller Center and this was also happening in real life.

The sound was beyond belief.

I consulted the web to find out more about where I was. It informed me the "Peacock Room" was on the top floor of Rockefeller Center. Sure enough, I looked out window and that's what I saw (exactly 70 floors up, according to the web). My HUD showed that I was 222 meters high, so I did some quick research and found out that this was 728.346 ft. Figuring that the average story in Manhattan is 10.5 ft., that translates to 70 floors.

Joan did some new songs from her new album, took questions from both audiences, then broke into an unforgettable version of the Manhattan's "Kiss and Say Goodbye." Technical difficulties took over at that point and we were forced to listen to some synthesizer stuff.

Stoner Nude Beach

A few things were overheard at Stoner Beach by the "guy who didn't want to get naked." At Stoner Beach, clothing is optional...and it's understandable not to want to get naked since you are already paranoid. However, this gentleman thought tattoos were the solution to his panic:

1. "Um, I want your tattoos."
2. "If one is coated with tattoos, then one is never completely naked."
3. "How much ink do you have to have before you are declared no longer naked?"

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

SL/Tree Talk

I met a tree who could type in a creek. The creek had balls that contained poetry. The tree said he represented a virtual publishing company. I said it made sense that a virtual publishing company would be represented by a tree. I told him that he looked awesome and would blend in good with the environment. He said, "yes, esp if I sit down in a forest." Then I asked him as a tree, if he liked to sit or stand better. The tree then asked specifically about my smoke. I explained that it didn't make sense for me to give him a smoke, especially if he inhaled.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

SL/Green tubes

This is the intricate network of green tubes that Greene built.

He can roll himself into a ball and travel along them quite well.


(Which takes a lot of concentration.)

It's like a psychedelic digestive track.

"Eight ball, corner pocket."

A rare look at Greene outside his cocoon.

SL/20 Years ago Things You'd Never Thought You'd Say

1. Your tail looks real.

2. Stop typing, I'm trying to interrupt.

3. You saw his dolphin? You were allowed to see his dolphin?

Friday, June 08, 2007

SL/The universe's own special version of temptation

Milo before his wedding is being severely tempted by a seductress in of all things a wedding gown.

There is some kind of sub-particle-level connection going on between the joints...

Sl/Small pond

Serbia and Spain in the same pool water.

Serbia was splashing more.
"The password is: 'I'm too lazy to read chat history.'"

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Love Bugs

Every year in Florida billions of uninvited guests buzz along the roadways like something out of a horror movie, causing damage from the Panhandle to Plantation Key.

And the source of this scourge? The lovebug — the small, fly-like creature who is attracted to automobiles and makes its home on the sides of roads.

Despite its colorful name, the lovebug is not beloved in Florida. In fact, its name evokes anything but love. "I hate 'em," says Walt Schrenk, a truck driver from Jupiter (Fla). "They're hazardous to drivers."

What Schrenk is talking about nothing new to the millions of motorists who have witnessed the strange phenomenon that usually occurs in May and September when lovebugs start taking flight — and end up crashing into windshields.

The bugs — technically known as Plecia nearctica — are seen mostly in pairs, grappling mid-air and doing what can only be described as an act of "love" (hence the name). When finished, they head back to their original nesting area, usually on the side of a road.
The problem for motorists is that lovebugs tend to do their business en masse, which means that on any stretch of blacktop there can be tens of thousands of bugs involved in bug making, and if you're unlucky enough to be traveling in that direction you may end up crashing this 1/1000th-of-a-mile-high club.

Schrenk, who drives his truck throughout Florida, describes the effect as "black snow."

"It starts real slow, almost like raindrops — bugs flying at you nonstop. Then it becomes a blizzard where you can't see anything except hundreds of black flies. It's a real mess."

Should you turn on your windshield wipers during this time? No, says Schrenk. "It makes bug soup."

Lovebugs are only active in daylight hours; not surprisingly, this is also when automobiles are most active. But what is surprising is that certain scientists have documented that lovebugs, well, love automobiles.

According to a 1998 article in Florida Entomologist, lovebugs are attracted to "irradiated automobile exhaust fumes" (irradiated means exposure to ultraviolet light or sunlight). Scientists studied the components of exhaust fumes and found that two of its ingredients — formaldehyde and heptaldehyde — act as major stimulants to lovebugs. They also found that cars' engines and vibrations seem to set them atwitter.

Is this love or zonked-out desire?

Whatever it is, it's unrequited, since automobiles can't stand them.

Lovebugs exude a sticky, acid-like substance when they go splat! and can damage a car's paint unless quickly wiped off. Also, they can get sucked into radiators and cause engines to overheat.

Flight Times May Vary

Like swallows returning to Capistrano, the lovebugs' schedule is nearly as predictable, though not as agreeable: Florida should expect swarms each spring and fall.

Scientists say the bugs' timetable depends mainly on climate and swarms can occur a month in either direction, but generally speaking, May and September are your best bets for contact.

Whether you contact them by windshield wiper, by bumper (or both) depends on what time you drive, since lovebugs don't usually take flight until around 10 a.m., or when temperatures reach 80 degrees. The swarms last most of the day. When temperatures start cooling off around 4 p.m., the bugs beat it back to their nests.

"They prefer to save energy at night for their next day's activities," said Dr. Harold Denmark, retired chief entomologist with the Florida Department of Agriculture.

Dr. Denmark said swarms will generally last 3-4 weeks at a time.

Speaking as a Car Owner...

Is there anything that can be done to stop this plague?

"No," says John Capinera, Chairman of the University of Florida's Entomology Department. "The lovebug is neither a threat ecologically or to humans."

But what about to cars?

"A huge nuisance," he admits.

What what about to humans in cars?


Could the government wipe them out with pesticides?

"Not feasible and not rational, because the costs and hazards associated with pesticides wouldn't be justified because there are just way too many (lovebugs)."

Dr. Denmark agrees, and says the sheer number of lovebugs, and their varied locations, make pesticides impractical. "Because there are so many (of them), and because they exist not only along highways, but in cow pastures, in open fields, marshy areas — everywhere — you would literally have to spray all the ground in Florida to wipe them out."

Denmark recalled several unsuccessful attempts to combat lovebugs with chemicals in the 1950s. "We would drop (the pesticide) malathion on the highway and it would clear it instantly. But thirty to forty minutes later, it would be crawling with lovebugs again."

This is because lovebugs continuously drift in from all directions, Denmark said. "There could be another group nesting just 200 yards away."

Life in the Fast Lane

Denmark said lovebugs would much prefer the quiet settings of cow pastures to the hazards of the highway — if they could only distinguish between the two.

"They think highways are the best place to lay their eggs because they mistakenly believe they are cow pastures."


He explains that cars' and trucks' engines produce heavy vibrations as they rumble down the road, which are very similar to the fluttering of lovebugs, whose wings can beat 200 times a second. Lovebugs follow this 'whirring' effect, believing they are heading in the direction of other bugs. Instead they find "Joe Sixpack driving to work," Denmark said.

As lovebugs approach the highway, they are further attracted to the cars' exhaust fumes, Denmark said, since the fumes contain heavy amounts of formaldehyde. Formaldehyde-like chemicals also are found in methane gas, which most organic material, like cow manure, emit. So, lovebugs become convinced they have stumbled upon fertile ground and quickly set up shop along the road. They lay their eggs in the mowed grass typically found along highways, which offers the sort of damp, rotting conditions favored by their larvae.

"They think they have settled into paradise, but instead have found a mirage," Denmark said.

This is why our roads become pulsating, incubator-like obstacle courses every year — and why lovebugs are slaughtered by the millions.

"Automobiles are their number one predators, ironically enough," said Denmark. "Lovebugs are first lured to the roads by automobiles and then become their greatest victims."

Unfortunately for car owners, lovebugs have no other enemies. Birds, normally the biggest bugaboo of insects, avoid them at all costs because they have a very disagreeable flavor, says Denmark (who claims to have never tasted any). "Birds can't stand them."

Lovebug larvae are occasionally eaten by certain bacteria, though Denmark doesn't think it adversely affects their population. He also says the lovebug larvae actually benefit nature by breaking down waste matter and turning it into oxygen. "At least they contribute something," he said. "Insignificant as it may be."

The question that must be asked, then, is: Are adult lovebugs, whose only purpose seems to be to reproduce and who often get smashed into smithereens as a result (and who can't even be stomached by other wildlife) basically worthless in nature?

"Yes," says Dr. Denmark. "They are totally useless in nature — unless you acknowledge them as nuisances. In this regard they are supreme."


Besides their mortality rate among motorists, lovebugs don't live very long. "Three to four days is all," said Denmark.

He said a typical male lives about 90 hours and a female about 80 hours, although the female may live a bit longer by attaching herself to a new mate if her original partner can't "perform," said Denmark.

"Her biological need to reproduce will add hours to her lifespan," he said.

Denmark says insects are the only species where sex (or imminent sex) can extend one's life. (GQ and Cosmopolitan articles, notwithstanding.)

Born in a Vat?

For years, there have been rumors about the origins of lovebugs. Perhaps the most popular rumor is that they were hatched during an experiment "gone wrong" at the University of Florida.

According to this rumor, UF biologists "created" lovebugs to combat Florida's biggest menace, the mosquito. These bugs — or superbugs — were designed to fly around and eat as many mosquitoes as possible. The experiment backfired, says this rumor, when lovebugs turned out to be vegetarians.

Voila! Instant plague.

"The rumor fortunately has no basis in fact," said Dr. Norman Leppla, UF entomologist and author of several scientific papers on lovebugs.

The main reason for the rumor, he suspects, is because the bugs haven't been around very long.

"They have only been in Florida since the 1940s [when they were first discovered in Escambia County, part of the Panhandle]. They are newcomers, relatively speaking, and this only fuels speculation (in some people's minds) that they were created artificially."

Another reason for the rumor may be because the University of Florida has done more research on lovebugs than anyone else.

"Some people think because we know lovebugs so well — and truthfully we don't; we've only scratched the surface — that we must have 'invented' them," Leppla said.

"Needless to say, we try to swat down those rumors as soon as they fly up."

So where do lovebugs come from?

Leppla and other researchers believe lovebugs came to Florida from either Texas or Louisiana. How they got to Texas or Louisiana isn't clear. Some think they migrated from Central America. Others think they are native to the Gulf Coast. One thing is certain: Lovebugs can be found in every state along the Gulf-of-Mexico and as far north as North Carolina.

"The good news is lovebugs won't spread beyond the South because they need sub-tropical weather to survive," says Leppla.

The bad news is they have joined the list of Florida's other undesirables, including the cockroach, fire ant, termite and mosquito.

Splattered? Please Pull Forward

Several years ago, Florida's Department of Transportation installed "bug washes" along its turnpikes to help motorists deal with the unpleasant after-effects of lovebug lust.

"You pull up to one of them and it sprays water on the front of your car," said Turnpike Director Richard Nelson. "And it does a decent job of removing the bodies."

Asked if lovebugs were the primary reason for the washes, Nelson said "absolutely."

Meanwhile, the D.O.T. has increased its mowing schedule so that grass no longer grows like hay along highways. "Obviously, shorter grass means shorter clippings for lovebugs to live in," said Leroy Irwin of the department's environmental division.

UF's Dr. Leppla applauds these improvements but says more should be done. "Unfortunately, because Florida has no long-term solution for lovebugs, anything we do to control them — or study them, for that matter — should be encouraged."

"Lovebugs are still out there," he noted. "And just as annoying as ever."

©Patrick Ryan 2001

SL/Time for Intervention/Run on Sentence

Johnthomas, frantically typing with an Olympic torch in his hand, stops typing mid-sentence and goes (Away) for 12 seconds before resuming typing as though nothing had happened.

The Olympic torch may have come after his metal.


ZinY: I was trying to tip the tip jar but it went into her instead.
Muaw: You're lucky you're not in trouble.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Dear Pappy

There's a character named Pappy roaming the landscape of Second Life. Pappy's got his own still, a dawg, a shotgun, and you can usually recognize him by his shiny overalls and proper (hillbilly) English.
Pappy's a riot, especially if you can understand what he's sayin.

See Pappy here.
And here.

Sunday, June 03, 2007


Milo informed me he is having a Serbian wedding on Second Life soon with his bride-to-be, Kaca, and asked me to be his best man. I was honored and I agreed.

We worked out some conditions of the wedding. For instance, the priest should be nude, to better illustrate the sanctity of the honeymoon. Meanwhile, the best-lady, Ayo, and I would dance together during the entire ceremony. Why just stand around and listen? Why not do something while the ceremony is going on? You can listen as well as dance, can't you?
A girl in a wedding gown happened to appear at the dance hall, and then gravitated to where all the tuxes were, and I commented on how a wedding dress always seeks out a tux.
This whole night caught me by surprise and I thought that the stars in the dance hall were especially beautiful tonight and twinkled harder than usual after the announcement.
The wedding will be somewhere between now and the end of this year.
UPDATE: Matching nipple rings were proferred for the engagement. We suspect the same thing will take place for the wedding.
There also should be (at least) one satanist in attendance for balance.


"The longer I dance on here the more I'm inclined to work on my real life gut."


You know your monitor is stoned when you keep looking and looking at something over and over again. Something that doesn't look quite right. To me, this sign looked like de-capitated turkeys dancing with halos on their heads. What do you see?


"I kissed her on the lips then looked down at her hand and didn't know what to do with it."

Saturday, June 02, 2007


"The last time I checked my computer you were on it."


"Does Kansas believe in Second Life? That is the question."

SL/Little Red X

Mind Your Uhs and Huhs
Chapter and Verse Unknown:
"My mouse pointer kept getting closer and closer to the little red X at the top of the screen. I managed to linger on it without really pressing it: I wanted to hear the rest of what she had to say. But I was tired. The little red X started looking like a bullseye. I went corner-to-corner on it, hopscotching around. What did she say? The red X was exerting a lot of influence over me--too much influence. I couldn't keep up. Say what? I was tired, and it was now my turn to type. Time to leave the little red X.' Uh huh.' I typed. (I couldn't believe I typed 'Uh huh'.) Talk about the worst combination of words ever to type to a woman online! Yet I typed them. Damn you little red X!!!"

Friday, June 01, 2007

SL/Sand Quentin

He washed ashore at the clothing optional beach.

He got some strange looks.


Didn't have the type of skin that would last very long.

Believe it or not this is him standing under water.