Friday, March 30, 2007

SL/Society for the Prevention of Early Exits

I need animation of walking up to people and placing one hand on shoulder and gently shaking them while they're (Away). Especially if there's only one minute left before they expire.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

sl/Birthday Clowns Frowns Clowns

Milo spent a great deal talking about his birthday today. Coincidentally, Sidney's birthday is this Tuesday...

Is there any day in the year that isn't someone's birthday?
Has that ever been confirmed?

Milo told me all the important things he's bringing to Sidney's party.
"You gotta bring a smile," I reminded him.
"You can't go to a birthday all frowning."

Monday, March 26, 2007


Milo loves Mom.
Milo warns about doing harm to Mom.

Milo: i going to sleep you continue conversation
Patric: follow our conversation while you're asleep
Milo: if somethink happened to my mom patric you will be responsable
Patric: she will take all the precautionary pills
Milo: then i dont wanna be in your skin
Patric: she doesn't want to have you again
Patric: she will take all precautions
Milo: cya patric
Milo: cya mom
Patric: awww
Patric: have him twice in a row
Mom: ok son bye have a good sleep
Patric: it would be fun
Milo: lol that is for both
Patric: lol
Patric: he kissed and blew it and split it in half
Milo: cya around im really screwed
Milorad Lehmann is Offline
Patric: ok mom this is when you excuse yourself and run crying to restroom...Son is off to duty (bed)
Mom: lol
Patric: bed is the enemy
Patric: beds belong to the kingdom of 1st Life
Patric: we forbade looking at beds in my past sl religion
Mom: lol
Mom: hahhah
Patric: i was told beds don't exist
Patric: whenever someone tells me he/she is leaving for bed i lean back on my faith and denounce it
Mom: lol

SL/I say this as a straight man

My next trick is to invent a bong so realistic it looks like a penis is growing where the lips usually go.
Men will have a choice: to not smoke, or take the best bong hit ever.
Normal men will likely take the hit.
It will be fun watching their lips form around a penis (for the first time).

Sunday, March 25, 2007

SL/Overheard (mostly in Genital region)

On dating
"I told her I wouldn't go out with her as long as she had horns sticking out of her head."

In Health class
"'Testicles.' I love seeing that word, can't explain why. I was born with those yet rarely get to see them spelled ."

Blood flow to the head
Roger: i can't believe i am home, drunk, eating cottage cheese and watching these real live pole dancers on computer screen
EvalynnH: we are so cool Rog :)
BaileyM: pretty cool huh?
Roger: ooh yeahhh
Roger: cheers
Roger: my erection doesn't care if you're not real.
BaileyM: LoL

Song for Rednecks:
My next President shall be Busch

SL/ Gravity

No man with a fat wallet can resist the pull of four pole dancers.

SL/Totally Wacked Artwork

Notice the fire in the window pane in the illustration below? That's how I want all the windows in my house to be.

SL/Thinking about Bars

Animation desired:
I want to be able to produce, then pretend to play piano at a party.


Yetrates had us teleport to a new place, but I couldn't rez Milo--just his joint and sunglasses.

I suggested he wrap himself up with bandages.

When he finally did rez, I didn't know what was worse: him invisible or him naked!

Morning @ the pool (afternoon in Serbian time)
[8:54] Milorad Lehmann: so what are you doing here in this ours
[8:55] Milorad Lehmann: this is not your time
[8:55] Patric Styrian: lmao
[8:55] Patric Styrian: i didn't know i was barging in on your time
[8:56] Patric Styrian: right now we are in serbian time?
[8:56] Milorad Lehmann: yey
[8:56] Patric Styrian: until sun goes down, then it's florida time
[8:56] Milorad Lehmann: its 6pm here
[8:56] Patric Styrian: must be nice
[8:56] Patric Styrian: you are always leading the way with time
At Night
If you are zipping around, always wear a reflector.
Pardon me, yes, I had a reservation.
Why don't you check your computer again, I'm telling you I had a reservation.
Ok how does one bribe the robot?
Excuse me for a moment, sir, while I help out this young lady who is walking in place.



I want to invent a wristwatch that uses the hairs on my wrist and my freckles to keep the time instead of a clunky timepiece.

New Band Name:
Bedrock Feet

I want new sipping noises for a wide variety of coffees.
Sip sip noise: when it's really hot.
Gulp Gulp: after 10 creamers cooling it down.
Echo Echo: when your nose is down the cup and you insist on talking.
NOTES: The first sip of the morning will have an "ahhhh" sound.
Italic text for Italian roasts; Bold for darker roasts.

Can I swear on somebody else's mother if I use my left hand?


Someone needs to invent...
A tree in my yard that keeps getting taller with each passing day...

My dance floor:
Will have a tree in the middle with a tree fort on top.
Leaves will change colors, including the psychedelic ones.
The bark will also growl.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

SL/Proof of Unintelligent Life in the Universe

At the pool with Milo and his recently-purchased Mom. Mom scolded Milo about smoking a joint, saying he wasn't doing it right. She also pointed out the giant doobie wasting away in the pool.

Meanwhile, I was partying at the cabana when I noticed smoke coming from the cabana's ceiling. At first this fascinated me--then alarmed me when I realized I was the one causing the smoke. In a flash Milo was all over it: He rolled his wet body around on the roof, trying to put out the smoke. It only got worse. It wasn't until Yetrates arrived with a bag of faeries that the smoke was finally contained.
Milo and I celebrated that night by focusing hard on a UFO so that an alien would show up.
We weren't prepared for the scaly, Lobster-looking alien that did show up--but, hey, an alien is an alien.

We had the alien sit in a hot tub so we could gradually increase the temperature. Meanwhile, we peppered it with at least a thousand different questions, none which it answered. After a bit, the alien popped out of the tub and said it had to return to the UFO before it was compelled to eat us.
Milo was so excited to have extraterrestrial contact that he wanted a picture hugging the alien.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

SL/Rules of the House

! Under no circumstances can a pet watch me go to the bathroom.

!! You must smoke reefer while in bed.

!!! You must invite a different nationality home each night depending on what we have planned for breakfast the next day.

!!!! There will be no hanky panky until I get home.
Milo was slumped over in his car seat.

I'm afraid he was more than (Away)... He was (Away, Busy).

Later, we found out that Milo had been going through a script error that wouldn't go away. Even a trip to Help Island proved fruitless.

Patric: Milo I am posting your question on your blog.
Patric: My blog.
Patric: Tell me your problem in one sentence or less.
Milo: look
Milo: hey i have this
[Hands me a notecard and says something about "flying fish"]
Patric: i am not interested in your flying fish
Patric: right now i'm more interested in your problem
Milo: that is a problem dude
Milo: did you get notepad read it
Patric: oh sorry didn't realize flying fish was your problem.
Patric: I'll just post that you have a flying fish problem and someone will know what that means
Milo: no dude you need to post this
Milo: Can't move object 'Flying Fish8!' to { 185.762, 115.994, 1459.46 } in region Watarrka Park because you are banned from the parcel.
Milo: or this
Milo: Hi, i have a flying fish object that i lost and now every minute i hear a message saying that it's stuck somewhere in a banned area.
Milo: brb im going to bathroom

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Second Life/
I somehow ended up at a Yard Sale with Milo, my Serbian house mate, where we accidentally looked at beds.

I need to create a bed for straight men. It will be your basic canopy with a divider going down the middle.
Pets Wanted
I want a pet goldfish that follows me around.

Pets Wanted
Jenny came over and brought with her her elephant.

Jenny was kind enough to let her elephant use the trampoline.

The giant bong that Milo kept outside the house was the perfect size for the elephant (who knew this as well).

That there might be a car in the way didn't slow the elephant down as he charged the bong.

A perfect fit.


I want to start a virtual world within Second Life. A place where you can miniaturize yourself and inhabit a brave new world (talk about immersion-immersion).
"Third Life," it will be called, taking place within Second Life. It will be a place you can escape your First (and Second) Life limitations.
Bring on Third Life!

Monday, March 19, 2007

SL/Overheard (stoner marathon)

LanceG: Anyone want to be my test subject?
Cret: I want you to operate on my taste buds.

Work avoidance
Lee: why you dont use this url for music
Lee: its 80s music
Muwa: oh i hear enough of that at work
Muwa: i need to escape 80s for awhile
Lee: where you working
Muwa: i work in what i call the 'work world'
Lee: lol

EricD: I want to have the national flag of a country i don't like tattooed on my thumb.
EricD: On the bottom.

A Conversation unique to this universe
littleboy: Hey man, you're on fire.
Milo: I know.

Over my head appeared a halo made of weed smoke.


I want to dry off at a nude beach using shredded shower curtains as towels.

Entrepreneurial ism
I want to give virtual tours of the White House attic.

True confessions
I want access to one of the most mysterious places on earth--the confessional chamber normally occupied by Catholic priests. In these cloistered quarters I want to experience 100 bong hits in a row, one for each mistake of the day. At the end of these divine exhalations will be the undeniable smell of a plant being offered up to God. I will emerge with fresh ash on my shirt and lap.
I want to be free again.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Second Life/Relaxing by the pool

Here is a nice view leading to the community pool.


Here is a snapshot of my two pets left behind while I visit pool.


Here is a massive UFO being built from a distance. It's being built for me, and will be an IFO once it's registered.


"I need to tell you that I need to go pee."


For a gag, I planted these nuclear reactors in my backyard. I immediately had to raise them when I saw that they were squishing Yetrates. Actually, Yetrates was the one to warn me she was being squished. I just came to the rescue... Something beyond my control helped me lift those nuclear reactors off of her.

Friday, March 16, 2007


New View
"I am viewing (Second) Life through the prism of a new reality. I am viewing it through the wine glass currently in front of my monitor."

"We are tango-ing right now; get ready for some light disco-ing."

"I can't wait until I am 9 days old."

To a lamp post, lovingly
"When I couldn't locate my dropped wallet last night you were there for me."

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

SL/total rambling of As

I want animation of me checking my wristwatch after each 10 minutes spent with a woman shopping for hair.

We'll be holding weekly "bong-band" meetings at my house so bring your bongs and be prepared to suck.

Since our beach view was sold to a bunch of greedy developers, I propose we erect a giant mural of a beach scene in our backyards that defies the original.

I want a poor house with a very very expensive bathroom.

He needs an animation of fainting every time he sees boobs. Paradoxically, boobs are the only things that can bring him back to life.

"I'm going to be the first father that gives birth on Second Life."

Instead of lindens we will be dispensing our own currency: lyndons.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Second Life/Overheard

"For lag, I need an animation of getting on all fours and crawling around."

The quote heard round the world:
"I want to have sex with every single person in SL before leaving."

Gambling Tip:
"Whenever I feed the sploder I whisper some mumbo jumbo and try not to get too tense."

File this one in the 'OMG' category

"This helmet plays mind games
New technology lets players manipulate game environments with their minds alone."
Click here for story.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

SL/Long neck

Jenny acquired some art
which makes your neck get extreeeemely long.
Disengaged from the art yet my neck won't quit!
Getting longer should increase my chances of getting into Jenny's trailer...
Then again...

Thursday, March 08, 2007

SL/420/Ambient bar noise
My (future) bar will have a sound loop of keyboards clacking away. The same comfortable, familiar sound as a fireplace in real life.

I stepped in when I saw Superman about to harrass this young lady.

Superman has left the building.

SL/Conspiring against a Robot

I saw this fellow standing on a plot of vacant land near the castle and I was bored, so I wandered over.

Patric: Yes? can i help you?
Roundabout Ogee: I doubt it. With what?
Patric: you are here as a guest soaking up the sunshine
Patric: i'll be the one asking questions
Roundabout Ogee: No, I'm here as an owner
Patric: i see
Patric: i was applying for butler position
Patric: i hope i was convincing
Roundabout Ogee: What for? No house, how could you butle?
Patric: they call me the fresh air butler
Roundabout Ogee: One of those odd job jobs?
Patric: i take what i can get
Roundabout Ogee: Well, I don't think there are any butling positions here at the moment. How would you butle in SL anyway?
Patric: "sir, Master Roundabout will be TPing in shortly....please be seated."
Patric: i guess you use imagination
Roundabout Ogee: Have you tried the castle next door? He has the outfit for butling.
Patric: oh i applied there too
Patric: he said he'd get back to me
Roundabout Ogee: Well, there is a career change possible with the cr dealership nearby.
Patric: oh good idea
Patric: i need a more honest living
Roundabout Ogee: As long as it isn't used cars, it may be just the thing.
Patric: i got tired of selling those
Patric: kept getting 'declines'
Roundabout Ogee: Don't tell me you used to sell VW Rabbits?
Patric: everything but.
Patric: tanks
Patric: hot rods
Patric: even insects
Roundabout Ogee: Bee level cars?
Patric: selling insects on SL was not the smartest idea
Patric: well not that one
Patric: yet
Roundabout Ogee: No. more like a plague.
Patric: yeah never tried offering plagues yet
Roundabout Ogee: SL likely needs more uncles than ants, right?
Patric: i think i would take my chances with ant
Patric: have you been to the castle lately?
Roundabout Ogee: No, I've been working on the plot here. He said there was a device that likes to shoot at folks in the front.
Patric: oh god
Patric: yes
Patric: the robot butler
Patric: it was firing stuff at me yesterday for minutes
Patric: i was praying for a cork
Roundabout Ogee: Replaced by a machine. That's why he doesn't need a butler.
Patric: it is way more charming but i still think it needs to go.
Patric: perhaps over this ledge
Patric: wouldn't want to help me, would you?
Patric: i trick it over here and we both shove it over edge
Patric: we cover up the footprints
Roundabout Ogee: RL is calling. I need to go attend to business there.
Patric: i mean track marks
Patric: ok, see you sir
Roundabout Ogee: Nice to chat.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

SL/Catching Up
Don't be ridiculous, no one can see you right now.

You're fine...just aim.

Meet Darkshroom, proprietor of the castle next to Jenny's.

(Darkshroom is in front, his robot-butler is in background.)
His robot-butler is efficient and likes to guard the front door.
"I OBEY" in a metalic voice is heard quite regularly from Shroom's place.

If you make a move for the front door the robot will get in your face and fire a (non-lethal) gun at you. You stand there and take it until Darkshroom calls it off.
I've never made it to door without the robot-butler greeting me.

Monday, March 05, 2007

1st Life/Stuck on roof

We were putting up a banner when our ladder toppled over. Good thing we were already on roof!
We looked at each other like: Now what?
Both of us had our cell phones. We could call someone...
"Good morning. Good Sunday morning. Could you do us a BIG favor and rescue us by picking up our ladder off the ground...?"
It was only two stories up, but still.
We saw a lady walking her dog. As she got closer, I asked Bill "Should we?"
"Ma'am, good morning! How are you? Beautiful day, isn't it? Listen, we're in a jam. Our ladder fell over. Yes, that one. Would you mind...?"
She mercifully upended our ladder while her poodle watched.
"Thank you! Thank you!" we both said.
I wadded up nine dollars and tossed it down to her. She smiled and left.
Bill and I looked at each other and thanked the heavens for strolling dogs.

Second Life/Jenny's Place

At Jenny's place. She plans on uprooting her trailer when her lease expires (tomorrow).

The next day (today).
At Jenny's place with her new land and her newly-remodeled trailer.

A castle as neighbor.
Her neighborhood was missing something...
Like a Japanese garden house.

A dumpster was artfully arranged on her lawn to give it a 'lived in' feel.

Weeds were planted and grew overnight.
The riveting on the dome of the trailer was riveting.

In fact, the whole place was lovely.

There was definitely something about the view.