Thursday, May 31, 2007

1st Life/Birthday/colons/Carabbas/Peter Lawford dream

Yesterday's birthday: 39
Phone call at work: (from Dad, who's 66)
Dad's about to be taken to Emergency Room via ambulance (blood while going #2)
After work there is a hospital mini-rendezvous involving me and Dad and brother and also my best friend, Bill.
Crisis averted. Nothing (so far as we can tell) that's "acute." Dad will stay in a couple days for more tests.
In the meantime, my job is to take out Smoochie (his pet dog)
Also in the meantime, there was a birthday dinner for me. (Dad can't make it.) (Paid for by my brother.)
At Carrabba's
Thinking about my colon as I eat Chicken Cannelloni.
My friend Bill is also in attendance. He's been my best friend for 13 years. My (very) nice brother pays for his meal too.
Sleep is restful and uneventful except for this peculiar dream...

A dream right before I woke up involving Peter Lawford (!) :
I'm offered a small parcel of scrub-brush real estate in Arizona for $100. Seems like a fair deal. Then the dream shifts to my real-life manager, Rob, showing me how to insert these stick-like devices (plastic rose stems?) into tubs that are filled with a squishy substance like Jello. We are in a parking garage in Arizona, not far from the parcel I just bought, and these sticks are apparently for display. Each stick requires that it first be broken near the top and then sort of twisted as it's inserted into the tub so that it remains standing. Peter Lawford is helping me do this "chore" after Rob leaves, and I am very frustrated that my sticks don't remain standing. Instead, they disappear into the goo. Peter Lawford is preaching patience.
Peter Lawford is an expert at making these sticks stay afloat. He tells me that I am not twisting them properly. I wake up.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

SL/At Dr. Feelgood's

M: welcome to best place in SL.
P: where are we?
M: in feelgood drugs shop
P: oh yes
P: is he around?
M: no :(
M: i didn't see him for last few days
P: if he's a doctor, page him
M: lol
P: where are all the munchies again? i can't remember since last time I was here
A: I know a great dinner.
P: I only believe in dinners composed of munchies
A: You can get cereal
P: cereal qualifies as munchies godsend
A: yes cereal is a choice
P: cereal is pro choice
A: very true
Plant1: Smells so good you want to smoke it right now!
M: we need to buy this mushrooms
P: explain these mushrooms in 10 minutes or less
A: has the timer started?
P: i bought some shrooms
P: i might get robbed.
M: god damn it i forget how great A looks
P: look at her and puff
A: lol I was thinking exact same thing
M: did you try seclamine, P?
P: no, too lazy
M: lol
P: i'm too lazy to experiment with anything besides pot

Monday, May 28, 2007

SL/402/Motion Sickness

Several times Yetrates has invited me to watch her race cars. She has a thing about racing, whereas I'm more of a spectator. Yesterday, she informed me she had won a big race. Today, she wanted me to join her at the race track--again.

In honor of today's holiday, I told her: "Only if I can bet on your car."

Earlier, I had brought my club (and balls) to a futuristic/fantastic dance club that Angie introduced me to called "'Inspire' Space Spark club."

The floors actually rotate as you revolve around the planets.
My goal was to knock a ball into Venus.
There were so many poseballs that my ball ended up getting lost.

About that time the moon rotated into view.
I told Yetrates I had one more ball left...that it was just for her...and to not say a goddamned word.

It sliced to the left.

This is me trying to launch myself off the dance floor while Yetrates holds me back. /
Later in the car you can see my club sticking out.


"Chapter One, verse one"

"I grabbed her by the arm before she had a chance to walk into the club. 'Wait!' I pleaded. 'Your hair hasn't rezzed yet.'"

SL/Milo Meters

Milo was with us.

Then suddenly he was (Away).

We found out we could move Milo around quite easily while he was away.

At one point Yetrates transported him on the hood of her car.

By the time I logged off, Milo had been dragged hundreds of meters throughout Rotterdam to this nightclub.

After I logged off, Yetrates emailed me these photos:

Sunday, May 27, 2007

SL/Stuck in a Mall/Survival Tips

Today there were lots of "teleporting issues" for me. Here is where I got stuck:

For two hours I was unable to teleport out of this mall (where I'd gone looking for formal wear accessories). [Walking was out of the question, too.] For two hours, I had to pace around and look at every single display at least five times, constantly hitting the 'Teleport' button to no avail.
This display caused me the most anxiety:

My "survival tip" would be to "Always stay in a crowded area if you're not sure there's not going to be any server issues." This way you will have actual people to talk to and not just shoes and wigs and men's ties, like me. If you do get stuck in a place for up to 1-5 hours solo, try to make it in a mall--if possible. But even in a mall, I must admit, I came very very close to logging out. At one point I actually began looking at sales involving the "other gender," which is to say, I forced my mind into a whole new discipline. This also helped me to survive.

Excerpt from "Memoirs of Being Stuck on Island Alone":
"At one point, I saw a poseball and began to drool."



"Teleporting issues kept me from leaving the nude beach much to the dismay of my already-departed girlfriend."

"I was amazed at the sheer amount of tattoos on the (nude) beach."

Song Title:
"I Teleported Ok but Missing One Tattoo."

SL/Homeless Shelters

The morning was spent visiting the (suprisingly) many homeless shelters in Second Life.
Currently, I'm a property owner but I have a real fear of being homeless one day.

So I figured why not spend Sunday poking around places where I can crash if the economy goes haywire or a natural disaster like a real-life crash wipes out my home (or any references to my home).
So I visited the homeless shelters "just in case."
[pic upcomng]
[pic upcoming]
[pic upcoming]

[pic upcoming]

They ranged from good to good-enough-for-government to grimy. The only working refrigerator I could find, ironically, was in the grimy shelter. The "good" shelter had a painted-on version. Luckily, it had live turkeys running around otherwise its rating would be lower.

The grimy homeless shelter had intermittent gunfire and numerous casualties. But no ghosts. The "good" shelter, on the other hand, had zero gunfire and no casualties and one ghost. Go figure.

Some of the shelters had working railroad tracks but I didn't see a single train while I was there. I heard plenty of them in the distance. I think they all stopped at the next towns over.
At each shelter I was offered something to do with turkey. At the good shelter I was offered a real turkey. At the good-enough-for-govt. shelter I was offered a fake turkey. At the grimy shelter I was called a turkey.

SL/Donors for Lag Sufferers

I think there should be a central facility in SL where one can donate excess kilobyte-age to lag sufferers who need it. I would gladly share parts of me to those in need.

I can't possibly be using every bit (byte?) of me so why not give it to someone who can use it?

For someone on a clogged pipe, it could mean the difference between life and death.

Friday, May 25, 2007

SL/Serbian Friday night pool phenomenon

The Serbians met at the pool for the weekly "Friday night phenomenon." Afterwards, I discover no more hot water in hot tub. In fact, no water period.

One of the two dance pads were missing too. I accused Milo of stacking them on top of each other.

These Serbians apparently party pretty hearty.

Milo shows me this pic. Someone (possibly Angie?) is way overdressed. Milo has shaggy hair in the pic. In fact, every pic at the pool lately has Milo with shaggy hair. What is going on with Milo's shaggy pool hair? I think only Milo knows the answer to this question.

Meanwhile, there is a fascinating leg in this picture belonging to a famous Serbian celebrity named Ceca. Here is her picture in real life:
The guy in the (above) photo has a Scottish last name and Serbian first name. His name is IvanMilojkovic McMillan.
His tattoo dominates the photo because I wanted a picture of it. I asked him if his back tickled much when people took pictures of it. He said no.
One of the Serbians, later self-described as "bored," and whom I would describe as "drunk," began to heckle me and I was forced to leave the pool area.
This is where I ended during the last half hour, among dragons.

Thursday, May 24, 2007


Achtung, honey
"His real life wife joined him in Second Life and immediately began whistle shopping."

Art cont.

I right-clicked on the below piece by Alan to see what his masterwork was called, and I got more abstraction: "empty frame with script & notecard."

SL/Di-stract Art

This is Alan Ceres's South Shore Gallery (he is one of my neighbors).

If you notice, Jeb Bush appears to be one of the men hugging in the photograph (in the virtual picture). George Bush is the other person...

George Bush appears to be bald.
The gentleman in the foreground (bald) looks suspicious as he walks away. Did he deface the photo?
There is some interesting carpeting. I want to find this place someday (evidently real and within Second Life); I want to sit on that love seat. There is a raging fire outside. Maybe the gentleman is trying to save the artwork? I dunno.

SL/(Neighborly) Vibes

That's a spicy meatball

The beach house with the UFO has attracted a diverse and lovely set of neighbors.

My longest-time neighbor is an Australian lady (Juko). Followed by an Israeli man (Simon). Followed by an American woman (Myth). Followed by, and I kid you not, a colony of French lesbians (on the south east corner). Of course, the pool is mainly occupied by Serbians, as is my house. A Dutch and two American woman also stay occasionally at the house. Same as a Brazilian guy (Erlon).

I am still looking for a certain lady in Texas to visit me, who I've never seen outside of 1st Life.

As far as I know all this makes sense.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

SL/Erlon Obviate resurfaces as a non-addict

in several different time zones

One of the first people I ever met in Second Life (way back in December, eons ago), Erlon Obviate, IM'd me while I was offline to say hello...that he keeps meaning to talk to me, but I'm never in his time, his time being Brazilian time. This struck me as odd because I've always assumed South America's time zones were the same as North America's. So I did a lookup and discovered that Brazil is one hour ahead of us in Florida. Very cool.
But Erlon messaged me at 15:34 SL time, which is the same thing as 3:34pm Pacific time--or 7:34pm Brazilian time (6:34pm my time)--which really isn't that late.
Erlon is keeping regular hours, I see. That will change once he becomes addicted. (If he becomes addicted.) My mission is to encourage Erlon Obviate to become addicted.

Long live Second Life!



"Every man's fantasy would be to get married in Second Life and honeymoon in real life."

Monday, May 21, 2007

SL/Bunny slippers smoking a joint at groin level

Sometimes when you enter Second Life articles of your clothing may end up on different parts of your body. This is due to something called the "Heisenberg uncertainty principle."

It happened to me recently, and Milo has a picture of it that he likes to show people at the pool.

Milo doesn't seem to notice that he is dressed as a woman in the photo (which to my knowledge is not caused by any sort of "principle"), and he even has a hand covering his mouth.
What would Freud Say?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

SL/It's a YouTube world

Socialbility scalability

Milo kept telling us different YouTube videos to watch [off-SL-line]. "Please watch them, they're funny."

I immediately thought of watching them with everyone else at pool. That would be HUGE.

Then the future. "We can watch YouTube videos together now," I imagined myself saying. "Think of the consequences."

SL/Getting dirty

Parental Advisory--Dirty.

Angelaa informed me how much she'd love to sit on my pole dancer's pole.

I said if she managed to sit on something like that she would be impaled.

I said we should find another piece of furniture for her to use...such as a peg from this bed. I offered to flip the bed over for her.

Later, she saw my hat in a whole new perspective before fainting.


at fitness club's shrink's office:

"To get over her self-image problem, she made her body hazy."

Saturday, May 19, 2007

SL/When hair falls out learn to belly dance

I went to the UFO during a costume change at Milo's party and my hair decides to fall out. Fifty trips to the UFO and nothing strange happens and now all of a sudden I lose my dreads? And my eyebrows, and my soul patch? Right in the middle of our pool party?
In my Inventory I have a bellydancer's costume that I knew would come in handy someday if I didn't get rid of it, so I return to party as though nothing had happened.
The veils do a decent job covering up the fact that I've lost my hair.

Friday, May 18, 2007

SL/Overheard after pool party

"I was surprised so many people around the world spoke 'ahahahahaha.'"

Overheard from frustrated stripper:
"I'm going to strangle this pole."

Milo made it (dig)

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Blogger Auto-Save feature (New)

Very nice feature. And oh-so unobtrusive.
I was going to "save my draft," like I always do, and discovered the "save" button already pressed for me! As you can see in the screenshot, Blogger is now saving the work for you (every thirty seconds) without you noticing.

Very cool for bloggers like me who live in Florida and have no battery backup system and occasionally have power blips due to lightning.

Update: 05/21/07
Also, another small improvement that shouldn't go unnoticed. Before, if you went to an existing post in 'edit' mode and changed your mind and did not edit anything, Blogger would still nag you with a popup: "Are you sure you want to navigate away from this page? You have unsaved changes." Now, Blogger can tell--somehow--that you didn't mess with your post--and leave you alone.


Milo can't upload pictures for 2nd Day in a row and gets to Stage 2 Hulk
[16:53] Milorad Lehmann: what a shit i can't upload picture
[16:53] Patric: uh oh
[16:53] Patric: dont get milo angry
[16:54] Patric: milo turns a shade of green when he gets angry
[16:54] Milorad Lehmann: better to don't get pissed off
[16:54] Patric: really angry
[16:54] Yetrates Bates: green like the Hulk?
[16:54] Patric: yeah
[16:54] Patric: he begins to turn into Hulk then stops
[16:54] Yetrates Bates: maybe Milo is the Hulk
[16:54] Patric: i've never seen him go all the way
[16:54] Angelaa Capalini: lol possible
[16:55] Milorad Lehmann: i got erection when i'm angry
[16:55] Angelaa Capalini: LOL
[16:55] Yetrates Bates: lets piss him of, just to find out lol
[16:55] Patric: he gets to stage 2 Hulk
[16:55] Patric: never get to see him get to stage 4
[16:55] Patric:: or even stage 3

SL/Ode to the Newbie

Newbie as 'Toddler'

Eager for friendship, they offer 'friendship cards' in all directions. I get one every time I'm near a Newbie.

They change clothes in public, with no 'shame' about nakedness.

As the toddler looks around in amazement, and takes baby steps, so does the Newbie. The world is a Mystery and a Delight to the toddler-Newbie.

Communication is very basic for the Newbie. Typing and texting evolve rapidly, however.

Inventory items (such as boxes) are frequently discarded by the exploring Newbie.

Finally, the Newbie gains enough skills to pass the mysterious barrier where he/she is no longer a "Newbie." A resident "kid" now. With all the social games that go with it.

Second Life is like the "New Childhood."

A magical thing to go through.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

SL/420/liquid on the brain

Animation wanted:

I want sideways hop across dance floor indicating my need to use restroom.


"I would love to meet real life royalty on here.
And force them to be my servants."

SL/Everything in pool

Yetrates showed up at pool with her futuristic aircraft just as I was kneeling in front of Angelaa on the air mattress.

It would be a huge environmental disaster for you to drain that thing in pool, I told Yet, not letting her know that each one of us had probably done it before.

SL/Cold Comfort

Milo was complaining about it being 95 in Serbia with no air conditioning so I wanted to take him to this place.
Winter's Gate it was called. Angelaa joined me to scope it out.
The only problem is, it was off-limits.
"There is only one way in," I informed her.
"That is?"
"You must squeeze between the lines."

"I can't see my breath but I would like that as an animation."

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


I read something about the country of Serbia winning some international music title, and Milo confirmed this, saying it was a Eurovision (European TV) event and that Serbia had won; Serbia was best in Europe.
I said it sounded like a new type of Olympics, but instead of running and jumping, one based on music. Milo agreed. Is this evolution? I think maybe it is...
Anyway, it got me to thinking about Serbia, and Serbia's Second Life presence. A few months ago I introduced a SLNN reporter to Milo and some of his Serbian friends. She was writing a piece on underrepresented industrialized countries in Second Life, Serbia among them. Tonight, I couldn't help but think, knowing Milo as I do, when the Serbians would take over the earth--the Second Life earth that is.

P: "Do you think the Serbian population will continue to grow on here until they take over?
M: "Yes."
M: "That is in the near future."

Then he said something terrifying. Luckily, I have his name and time.
Milorad Lehmann: it's consiparacy[18:16] Milorad Lehmann: we actuallly rule with SL but you don't know[18:16]

"I am still looking for a Second Life nephew, I am proud to say."


SL/Overheard/Virtual virgin no more to the tenth power

"Guess what? I met a call girl on here today. And yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that."

Monday, May 14, 2007

SL/Signs o' the times

Imagining the impossible with a decent exchange rate...

This one was taken at a distance so it's harder to see. The sign says "Will work 4 sploder."

When will the word "Sploder" (sometimes called "'Sploder" or "$ploder") become iconic enough to have its own Wikipedia entry? I say probably next year.

SL/Forgetting that there are other time zones

I came across an active dance floor this morning and blurted out without thinking:

"I see I'm not the only one skipping work today."
(Edited for SL) Overheard:
"I want a girl in every port." "I want a girl in each time zone."

SL/Day Off cont./Need a BIG Cabinet for all that Booze

Cerulean told me her group holds an "alcohol appreciation" (a.a.) day on Wednesdays where everyone gets loaded up with free drinks. I told her her Inventory must be filled with various bottles of booze. She said Yup. I told her I would hate to have my Inventory searched for all the grass I got in there. She said whatever happens in SL stays in SL.

Now I'm wondering who has the largest collection of drinks (alcoholic) here in Second Life?
Note: a.a. differentiates itself from A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous) by always using lower case letters.
"I went to the bathroom for a normal 'brb' and when I returned a roomful of people had vanished."

SL/Morning Fidget at Bishop's Coffee House

Off work today...

This couch had a "fidget" poseball which made it look like you were trying to relax (hands behind your head, etc.), but meanwhile your legs were constantly moving and you readjusted yourself on the seat. For me, it was the perfect place while I sipped two real life double expressos this morning...
(The thing behind my head is a coffee machine I am holding.)

Sunday, May 13, 2007

SL/Walk becomes mini-Rampage

Everything was going OK with the neighborhood walk until Woody saw the barbecue grill.


I found two excellent Second Life blogs this week. One guy--Wrath Paine--because we ran into each other at a trivia contest. The other, Myg (I think that's how you pronounce it), because I backtraced her comments on here.

Wrath is a wonderful serio-comic reporter covering everything to do with Second Life.
Myg's site is filled with startling imagery and whacked-out commentary.


Saturday, May 12, 2007

SL/Family Reunion


There will be a family reunion of the last name 'Lehmann' at pool this Thursday at 12am SLT.

If you have that last name and are unsure of how to pronounce it, you are invited too.

Thinking Ahead

I came across this quote while watching the "Global Consciousness" indicator on the bottom right of this page. (I swear I'm not making this up.)

"I want a robot that will come and suck the urine from me so i dont have to leave the bed or my chair. hows that for lazy :) and im not fat. -DarkLife"

Friday, May 11, 2007

SL/Treasure Map for Lady Avatars Only

I found a map plotting out all the best stores in Second Life for sales.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

SL/Woody Alert

Time to take Woody for a stroll.

l First stop, the neighborhood casino.
Electric Horseman eat your heart out :)

The players don't care; Woody could crap on the craps tables for all they care.
Also, the blinking lights don't affect his mind (as far as I can tell).

Later, he begins to think I am a boil on his skin so here he is standing under a heat lamp.
I teleport back to the house but Woody doesn't make it!
Then I rush back to the casino and Woody's not there either!
"Anyone seen an elephant?" I ask the zombies, rhetorically.

I quickly think of my pot farm which is in need of constant manure and I realize that my WOODY IS NOW MISSING.


"From now on when you mention real life you must use parenthesis."