Second Life/Trying on Penises

One of the more interesting aspects about Second Life is the way it mirrors sex in our society. The most dynamic destinations seem to have a sexual component...
Speaking of which...
I tried on penises for the first time today. (I've been wandering around SL without one for days!) (Proving how unassimilated I am.)
The penis I selected frankly mirrors my own rather well-endowed size, but don't hold it against me. :)
I paid too much for mine, if you must know. To get the right one, I had to stand back, with a finger on my lower lip and take in the vast array of penises...
Finally I settled on this humongous gland.
(I paid 400 linden dollars for it.)
(---eeeeeeeeek-----!!) The women should love it.

I do.

Second Life/Sexy Lexi

There is a fascinating world out there called Second Life, which only exists on the Web. And I have been playing it (or wandering on it) since earlier this week.

Yesterday I ended up getting kicked out (and banned) from an '80s dance club by a girl named Lexi. (Lexi, by the way, is the perfect name for a proprietor of an '80s dance club.) Lexi was about 25 and built--or built as much as pixels can be--and she stood on a table, dancing away...topless. She became my first topless table dancer! I gave her 50 (Linden) dollars. (Linden dollars is the official currency in Second Life.)
Maybe my gums flapped too much, because Lexi soon grew tired of my act and bounced me from the club. Banned. [She need not hire bouncers, by the way, because she's more than capable of bouncing people herself.] I found myself outside the club, literally looking in. Emotionally, I was roughed up but otherwise I was okay enough to start wandering the grounds--looking for a way back in.
Sexy Lexi.
I must have "wandered" for over five minutes, peering in windows, checking doors: Everything was locked. Yes, I know it all sounds desperate, but as far as I was concerned, me and Lexi still had unfinished business to tend to. (I *needed* back in.)

I even tried IMing her a half-dozen times. No response. Apparently when you are "banned" on SL your messages disappear into the void of cyber space--especially when you are trying to reach a proprietor. Lexi, as owner of the club, could not hear my cries for re-admittance, nor see me pounding on the door.

Then something stopped me: What if it really wasn't an '80s dance club? What if it really was a front for prostitution? Hadn't Sexy Lexi been a pixelated call girl? A phore?
Hadn't the whole '80s dance club thing been a masquerade; a front? Come to think of it, even the music made no sense: over-the-top arrangements by Motley Crüe followed by some piffle from Air Supply? Any self-respecting '80s dance club knew better than this.

Then I had my answer:
I was lucky to have most of my Linden dollars left.

Another lesson learned from Second Life!

Another surreal day for news headlines on Drudge. Check these out:

FREAK FARM TO BE SHOWN ON TV: Supercow and pigs that glow at night...

School bus driver fired for giving Bush the bird...

Man booted from gym for GRUNTING while working out...

Letter Carrier Attacked by Squirrel...