SL/Freaky

I couldn't rez as my usual avatar, nor could I rez as my back-up avatar (see below), so I ended up being a combination of both: a turkey/elephant (but with a rat's tail) and some human characteristics. (Thank you SL for making me a FREAK.)
I met two women doctors who offered to give me a (non-) free check up.

This is me sitting on the edge of their bed--a freak.

"Examine me please," I pleaded, "and please tell me that I'm a healthy freak."

Freak: ...and again, sorry about the tail
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Is that grey clothes? or are you nude
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Because we are doing a body examination, correct?
Freak: i think it's my skin
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Oh
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Is that your only skin?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..So What Color Would you Expect your Skin Color To Be?
Freak: blushing red
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Considerate Done!
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Alright.. please tell me what you would like. Body examination, correct sir?
Freak: yes, i need to find out among other things if i am in possession of a penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Alright..
Freak: and nipples
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay.
Freak: and if i can be tattooed or not
Dr. Natalie Laughton: We can do a penis transplant
Freak: can i pick which celebrity penis i want?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: sure
Freak: i want the Lou Ferigno
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright
Dr. Natalie Laughton: now this is going to cost for the surgery, and the penis
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Thank you..That's All The Information We Need.
Freak: it will cost me my virginity that's for certain
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..Can we Please Explain To you?
Freak: without a penis i've led a carefree life
Dr. Natalie Laughton: okay sir i think we know enough about your personal life
Dr. Natalie Laughton: now about the transplant
Dr. Evonna Emmons: We Buy The Stuff..And We Help you..So..Yes you would habe to..
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Have*
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Excuse My Language.
Freak: Would you like a man if you knew deep down he didn't have a penis?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok so
Dr. Natalie Laughton: doctor emmons
Dr. Natalie Laughton: how much will the surgery cost?
Freak: this surgery will cost an arm and a leg
Dr. Natalie Laughton: please sir
Dr. Evonna Emmons: The Surgery Will be About..i say 20 Lindens..Because..Its Changed you Very Differently.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and the penis will be 10
Dr. Natalie Laughton: we are very inexpensive here
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok now the penis
Freak: a 10 dollar penis...
Dr. Natalie Laughton: well
Dr. Natalie Laughton: how much do you have
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ?
Freak: my whole lifetime dreaming of one, and you offer a 10 dollar penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: its nice..
Freak: can i see it?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Well In Real Life?you have to Pay For Surgery..So we do It Here.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: lol
Freak: i promise i wont touch it
Dr. Evonna Emmons: lol.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: uhm
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Are you going to Buy it?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ill attach it to my arm so u can see it
Freak: you expect me to make life altering decisions in a hurry don't you?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok
Dr. Natalie Laughton: so when i click it

Dr. Natalie Laughton: it can go regular, and erect
Freak: see me shaking?

Dr. Natalie Laughton: yup
Freak: that means i am thrilled
Dr. Natalie Laughton: okay so want the surgery?
Freak: yes, i think so
Freak: who is going to perform it?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: both
Dr. Natalie Laughton: of us
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Please...Pay The Amount...First.
Freak: Are you both going to be sterile? Or is it my job to be sterile?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..First Before we start The Surgery Can you Please Pay it?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: The Amount...For The Surgery
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Thank you
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Natalie
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Please Give him The Penis.
Dr. Evonna Emmons: He's Paid.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Ok
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Lets do the surgery
Freak: don't hand it to me
Freak: fit it on me
Dr. Evonna Emmons: You have to Have It Sir.
Freak: but i want you to have it
Freak: for awhile
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Ok. Ill tell you what
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ill give it to u, then ill act like i am putting it on after u put it on
Dr. Natalie Laughton: will that make you happy?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: lol.
Freak: no
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Then What Will?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Well there is no other way
Dr. Natalie Laughton: What do you want
Freak: i want you to give me a penis AND one of your lips
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Uh
Dr. Natalie Laughton: We are not permitted to do that
Dr. Natalie Laughton: sir
Freak: you can make copies
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Woah..You Wen't To Far Sir.
Freak: oh, and i don't know which lip
Freak: if i had to choose one...
Freak: i'd say tongue
Freak: forget about lip i want tongue instead
Dr. Evonna Emmons: If you aren't going to Do This Right..Can you Please Just Say So..We aren't Allowed..To Do This..To Any Client Sir..We Are Here To Do our Job..Right.
Freak: wow, that was a lot of capitalization, i appreciate that
Dr. Evonna Emmons: What Color Skin Again Sir?
Freak: um, flesh colored
Freak: turkey colored flesh
Dr. Natalie Laughton gave you Scripted Penis by SH Hospital.
Freak: thank you, i can feel it already
Freak: it's still in my Inventory and wanting to get out
IM: Natalie Laughton: Please attach the penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Okay. Search Scripted Penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and it should come up [so I attach it]
Dr. Natalie Laughton: woops
Freak: it came up under my arm
Dr. Natalie Laughton: let me try this again

Freak: that looks like a mini turkey
Dr. Natalie Laughton: detach it
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and ill give you a new one
Dr. Evonna Emmons Gently Puts Skin Cream On your Skin..
Dr. Evonna Emmons: You Should Turn Color's In 5 Minutes Sir.
Dr. Natalie Laughton gave you New Scripted Penis by SH Hos.
Freak: lol
Freak: what a job
Freak: ok, thank you
Dr. Natalie Laughton: wait
Dr. Natalie Laughton: were not done
Dr. Natalie Laughton: !
Freak: oooh
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Natalie Still Has to Fix Your Skin..
Dr. Natalie Laughton gently applys cream onto Patric's penis area.
Freak: that tingles
Dr. Natalie Laughton puts cream on Patric's penis.
Freak: ice cream
Dr. Natalie Laughton waits a few minutes for the cream to dry.
Natalie Laughton puts lotion everywhere the cream was.
Freak: thanks for not missing a spot
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Anytime.
Dr. Natalie Laughton applys lotion on the penis.
Freak: from now on my penis asks that it be called by its more technical name, cock
Dr. Natalie Laughton: uh ok
Freak: Wait, i forgot to properly name it
Freak: do you want to hold the naming ceremony now?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..We Aren
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Here For This..Can you Please Let is Finish?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright do you need anymore cream or lotion?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Us*
Dr. Natalie Laughton: we need the penis to be erect in order for the surgery to be finished
Freak: ok, which button?

Freak: is there a mole i should be looking for?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: no
Dr. Evonna Emmons: No.Sor.
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir*
Dr. Natalie Laughton: im asking
Dr. Natalie Laughton: are you 'hard'

Freak: i am hard of hearing and hard after hearing
Dr. Natalie Laughton: kk its erect:

Freak: yes, you made it hard
Freak: thank you
Freak: just by talking about it
Freak: the slightest bit of attention, it does its thing
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright... we need to finish attaching your 'cock'

Freak: be sensitive, i'm poultry most of the time
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..Sir.Can you Please Not Intterupt Natalie?She's Trying..To Do her Job..Can you not Leave Any Of your Comments Here Please.

Dr. Natalie Laughton: Thank you ev
Evonna Emmons: I'll Run Down..The Hall..To Get Some..Tools..For This Surgery. [she leaves, Dr. Laughton stays]
Freak: sorry for commenting during your sentence breaks

Freak thinks What's taking her so long?
[from down the hall] Dr. Evonna Emmons: Dr. Laughton-The Receptionist Needs To Talk to you In a Second..Please Finsh What your Are Doing Ma'am
Dr.Natalie Laughton puts a special numbing cream on his balls.
Dr.Natalie Laughton: Ok ill be rite back
Freak: hey wait a sec....
Dr.Natalie Laughton: hm?
Freak: that's the oldest trick in the book, getting called away
Freak: meanwhile i'm sitting here with numbing agent
Dr.Natalie Laughton: sir, ill be right back
Dr.Natalie Laughton: be good please..and we will be good to you
Freak: i'll be good and try not to open any drawers

SL/Hunt

I'm on a mission to become a furry. I don't think I've had real fur yet, having been a human (skin), a turkey (feathers) and an elephant (scales?). Real fur has eluded me.

I don't want to be a dog, as I'm already one in real life.
I don't want to be a wolf, as they are better left unseen and overheard.
I don't want to be a cat, as they (sometimes) have a wagging tail that confounds me.
I don't want to be a skunk, even tho that stripe down their middle is far out.
I don't want to be a mouse, because I'm not sure what they have qualifies as "fur."
This picture that I found in Search under "fur" is not what I'm after, either:

Other choices...

I don't care to be a Care Bear.

This is more like fuzz.

Rind, ectoplasm, and some 'borrowed' skin...

/

Where is all the decent fur??

A possibility.

SL/Woody Alert

Time to take Woody for a stroll.











l
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Electric Horseman eat your heart out :)










The players don't care; Woody could crap on the craps tables for all they care.
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Also, the blinking lights don't affect his mind (as far as I can tell).










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Later, he begins to think I am a boil on his skin so here he is standing under a heat lamp.
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I teleport back to the house but Woody doesn't make it!
Then I rush back to the casino and Woody's not there either!
"Anyone seen an elephant?" I ask the zombies, rhetorically.

I quickly think of my pot farm which is in need of constant manure and I realize that my WOODY IS NOW MISSING.

---
Overheard

"From now on when you mention real life you must use parenthesis."

SL/Overheard

At strip club

"I want to place my eyes directly on your skin."

SL/Realigiosity

Milo loves Mom.
Milo warns about doing harm to Mom.

Milo: i going to sleep you continue conversation
Patric: follow our conversation while you're asleep
Milo: if somethink happened to my mom patric you will be responsable
Patric: she will take all the precautionary pills
Milo: then i dont wanna be in your skin
Patric: she doesn't want to have you again
Patric: she will take all precautions
Milo: cya patric
Milo: cya mom
Patric: awww
Patric: have him twice in a row
Mom: ok son bye have a good sleep
Patric: it would be fun
Milo: lol that is for both
Patric: lol
Patric: he kissed and blew it and split it in half
Milo: cya around im really screwed
Milorad Lehmann is Offline
Patric: ok mom this is when you excuse yourself and run crying to restroom...Son is off to duty (bed)
Mom: lol
Patric: bed is the enemy
Patric: beds belong to the kingdom of 1st Life
Patric: we forbade looking at beds in my past sl religion
Mom: lol
Mom: hahhah
Patric: i was told beds don't exist
Patric: whenever someone tells me he/she is leaving for bed i lean back on my faith and denounce it
Mom: lol

SL/Still buzzing

These sexy billboards would be much better served, I think, if the lady broke away from the billboard and approached you and made her pitch directly to you (but only after you showed enough interest. For example, after three minutes of standing in front of the sign she suddenly ambled towards you).

This would be a shocking, but ultimately rewarding, experience--and it would go a long way towards getting virtual salespeople accepted as contributing members of society.

Overheard
"I'm here to see some skin...I don't care what kind of skin it is, as long as someone calls it skin."

"The crash made me re-log into the same club that I had just walked out on."

♫ ♫ Song snippets for Middle-of-Roaders:
I wrote out something I had regrets about and had to Backspace it away

The size of the angel's wings is not important.

Ultimate name for today:
Trip Messenger

Photographs of Me at the Club Playing Trivia at the Bar with the Happy Face at the other end.












This poor guy doesn't know what to think.










The Case of the Mysterious Floating Reefer.

It magically stays in air as long as Luch focuses on it.








Where did it go?








Luch is staring at it like it's on the cover of the album Presence.





The giant doobie ended up as a cane for a very attractive disabled cannabis angel who fluttered into view. Miracle of miracles!