SL/Missing Milo leads to The Vagina Dialog

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I met with Ulises, the Spaniard, who asked if I'd seen Milo, our Serbian buddy, and I had to say "no" (at least not lately). And the word "no" he understood right away, since it was a Spanish word too. He doubly understood me.

"We need to look in Lost and Found," I suggested. (Does Second Life have one?)

"I've looked there already. Nothing," he said.

I told Ulises I had to use the sandbox. "Brb," I told him.

After a minute or so I returned and asked him why he hadn't kept typing while I was away since I use cordless headphones. He didn't understand, so I explained it was okay to keep typing while I was away in real life, since I can hear the typing noises anywhere I go, and I completely understand "typing."

"I can hear every word you're spelling out" I told him.

"Sure..." said Ulises.

Ulises wanted to leave and go somewhere else. Fine, I told him. When he asked what on earth was taking me so long, I told him I was waiting for a leash.

Ulises Snook: Leash?
Patric: I don't go anywhere unless I'm leashed.
Patric: sorry, policy.

"I am not gay," I reminded him after a few moments, "yet get a leash."

We decided to stay.

Ulises at first thought I was Serbian, not a Floridian, because of the "Milo connection." We got to talking about languages and he said he had taken French in high school but needed to brush up on it again. I suggested that Second Life was the perfect place to re-learn it rather than travelling up north. He said most French people speak English in SL.
I said that's only because he hadn't bumped into any yet. "That way you'll at least get reacquainted with the curse words."
He said I sounded American, not Serbian. (I kinda liked the idea I was mistaken for a Serbian.)

"We are all one people," I said.

I said Americans used to be one color: white, with a wee bit of pink. Now we are slowly becoming brown.

"Like a turkey" I said.

Ulises said he had to return to the States soon. To Madison, especially.

"No one's in Madison right now," he said.

"What's her last name?" I asked.

"Madison is a town. lol. WI."

"We don't speak of WI very much for some reason."

"Why not?"

"It is like a secret place. Away from the hubbub."

"Hubbub?"

"Hubbub is like daily fracas. Except 'fracas' has nothing to do with 'France,' except I think they invented it."

He said Madison, WI is a college town with lots of pretty girls, and plenty to drink. I asked how many of them were stoners. He said he didn't think many of them were stoners.

"Too bad," I said. "I'd rather hang out with the stoners than the drinkers."

It was creeping up on 4:20...

[16:10] Patric: i divide the world into two parts
[16:10] Patric: the alcohol users and the rest of us
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i like the beer a lot
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i started late
[16:10] Ulises Snook: 5 years ago or so
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i just drink beer, mostly
[16:11] Patric: do you like it so much you now use it for cooking?
[16:11] Ulises Snook: i don't like the other alcohol drinks
[16:11] Ulises Snook: i just cook chicken with beer
[16:11] Ulises Snook: pollo a la cerveza
[16:11] Patric: if i gave you a beer spiked with wine, would you drink it?
[16:11] Ulises Snook: a mixture?
[16:11] Patric: yes
[16:11] Ulises Snook: no
[16:11] Patric: ok
[16:11] Patric: a true alchy would
[16:11] Ulises Snook: you?
[16:12] Patric: no
[16:12] Ulises Snook: i am not alchy
[16:12] Ulises Snook: i just like beer
[16:12] Patric: i see
[16:12] Ulises Snook: and get drunk with it
[16:12] Patric: beer has made me get to know my bladder more
[16:12] Patric: before, i barely knew it
[16:12] Ulises Snook: bladder?
[16:12] Patric: bladder is the organ which holds urine
[16:13] Ulises Snook: vejiga, i got it
[16:13] Patric: not vejina
[16:13] Patric: bladder
[16:13] Ulises Snook: no
[16:13] Ulises Snook: vagina is other thing
[16:13] Patric: lol
[16:13] Patric: barely
[16:13] Ulises Snook: lol
[16:13] Patric: how do you say vagina?
[16:13] Ulises Snook: same
[16:13] Patric: is it a common spanish word?
[16:14] Ulises Snook: but the g sounds different
[16:14] Ulises Snook: no,
[16:14] Ulises Snook: we say coño
[16:14] Ulises Snook: coño=pussy
[16:14] Patric: we say pussy too
[16:15] Patric: there must be a country where vagina isn't a word and we could move there and name our daughter by that name and encounter no problems
[16:15] Patric: brb
[16:15] Ulises Snook: i think vagina is very common in many languages

SL/Turkey Talk leads to Spider Talk

(There was a mechanical spider near pool)

Angie returned to SL and saw that I am now a turkey, and this led to an involuntary stoner conversation (because she isn't a stoner).

Angie: Do you get stepped on often?
Turkey: mainly shoved
Angie: will you be sold for thanksgiving?
Turkey: i prefer to say bought
Angie: ha
Angie: ok
Angie: carved and cooked?
Turkey: cooked, then carved more than likely
Turkey: although, i've heard of some sick ones carving first
Angie: you should let me buy you since you know I won't eat you
Turkey: who would you pay?
...
Turkey: you are staring at the spider again
Angie: I hate spiders
Angie: with a passion
Turkey: what if they are safe?

Turkey: what kind of spiders do you hate?
Angie: all spiders

Turkey: all?
Angie: all, 100% of spiders
Turkey: even if some are friendly?
Angie: no such thing as a friendly spider
Turkey: there are over 1000 variety of spiders, surely there is one variety you will tolerate?
Angie: no
Angie: no spiders are ok
Angie: not one
Angie: if I see one I get all sweaty and
Angie: not good
Turkey: if a spider's venom were used to treat you for a rare disease, would you like that spider?
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Angie: Hmm, I would like its venom
Angie: however, the weird body with 8 legs not so much
Turkey: what if it were to design you a web, a specialized one?
Turkey: with your name on it?
Angie: that would be one amazing spider/pig
Turkey: lol

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Angie: do you like spiders?
Turkey: i've always frowned upon them
Turkey: until recently
Angie: and then?
Turkey: this one caught my eye
---
Angie: that one at least does not touch you
Turkey: Can you imagine the touch of one touching you?
Angie: no way
Turkey: i enjoy touching a woman exactly as a spider would
Angie: I used to sleep with a flash light to make sure none were on me at night
Turkey: lol
Turkey: for some reason i think they don't bother me when i sleep
Angie: don't you eat like 8 spiders a year?
Turkey: i once woke up with a strand of web over my eyes

Turkey: yes, i eat spiders, but i never inquire about the source
Turkey: i barely realize i'm eating a spider unless someone points it out
Angie: ugghh yeah I would FREAK out
Angie: I can't kill them either
Turkey: i would freak out if i ate something that had bigger eyes than mine
Angie: the crunch is worse than the spider
Turkey: true
Turkey: although i would hate to hear the crunch of a rib
Turkey: that's just me

Angie: so I put a cup over it and wait for someone to kill it
Turkey: lol
---
Angie: or spray it with hairspray till it dies
Turkey: that is a confusing way to go out
---
Angie: lol
Angie: yeah but it kills them eventually
Turkey: true
---
Turkey: as it does to us all
Turkey: stand underneath the spider, please
Turkey: i dare you

Angie: do you make the spider go up and down?
Turkey: no
Turkey: it has a mind of its own
---
Angie: it won't go down when I am standing here
Angie: ok I just jumped in real life
Angie: omg it looks like it crawled up me
Turkey: is the spider still on your screen?
Angie: yeah
Turkey: are you planning on hitting your screen?
---
Angie: no, but I jumped the first time it crawled by me
Angie: that is so gross
Turkey: that is a good start
---
Turkey: halloween is not far away

Turkey: if i get the chance, remind me on halloween if we see each other, I want to lean towards you and become a spider
Angie: ohh
Turkey: for shock value
---
Angie: if you were a spider
Angie: I WOULD step on you
Turkey: stomp on me
Turkey: you better stomp on me if you're gonna step on me, or else I'm coming after you again.

SL/Larry needs a new video card to escape from O. Island

Larry is a co-worker friend of mine. He looks like Marlon Brando from "Apocalypse Now": bald-headed, dark eyebrows: A very intimidating look. It was fascinating to watch Larry show up in Second Life and inhabit an avatar that looks like a metrosexual, a far cry from the Larry I know.

Larry has undergone three incarnations in Second Life, all trying to get off Orientation Island.

Larry is a stoner in real life.

He may never get off Orientation Island. Every time he does get off it's only for a short while before the inevitable crash sends him back to Orientation Island for the next log-in.

He is not only a stoner, he is laggy.

How does he expect to get off the island?

---

Tonight, Larry requested a TP to get off the island since he couldn't move (he could only type). He couldn't even use his legs. I invited Larry to our pool, where he still couldn't move, so I sent him into the pool. I told him: "Yes, your avatar appears to be blinking" after I studied his face. And so it was.

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[17:41] Boone Docherty (Larry): wet
[17:42] Patric Styrian: try to do the impossible and swim
[17:42] Boone Docherty: this thing will not move
[17:43] Patric Styrian: CAN YOU READ THIS
[17:43] Patric Styrian: i don't want to lose you
[17:43] Boone Docherty: yes
[17:44] Patric Styrian: i am summoning a doctor
[17:44] Patric Styrian: don't move
[17:44] Patric Styrian: he is a Lag Specialist
[17:44] Boone Docherty: cant move
[17:45] Patric Styrian: try to move your right hand
[17:45] Boone Docherty: what button
[17:45] Patric Styrian: forget that
[17:45] Patric Styrian: hit your upper arrow key
[17:45] Patric Styrian: see if that works
[17:45] Boone Docherty: ok
[17:46] Boone Docherty: nothing
[17:46] Patric Styrian: try your 'W' key
[17:46] Boone Docherty: wwwwwww
[17:46] Patric Styrian: lmao

Larry-Boone crashed, and returned to Orientation Island. But the next time he logged in he could move, so I invited him to Hooters -N- Shooters nightclub to escape.

For 12 minutes he was able to survive at Hooters -N- Shooters without incident, moving around somewhat freely. Then something happened. At the 12-minute mark he was staring at one of the beautiful dancers when he stopped communicating. None of us could get his attention.

"I think that's it for him," someone said.

Noooooooo.

Larry disappeared.

(Returning no doubt to Orientation Island.)

SL/4.20 x 420

'Stoners nite' at Hooters-n-Shooters

DJ Elle is officiating. Meanwhile, Yetrates is releasing some kind of mints into the air, in increasing intervals. Intense, I tell her.
She is also holding a bong, wielding it like a light saber, and knighting several people with it.
Meanwhile, Elle giggles, and re-giggles.
She is dancing on top of glass, mind you, fish beneath her sneakers. No way would she would wear high heels tonight and risk injuring a fish by breaking the glass by dancing too much. There hasn't been a fish injury in the history of Second Life--as far as anyone knows--and DJ Elle isn't going to be the first one (to injure one).

I see what color underwear Yet is wearing: Squash. There is a similar-colored fish swimming in the tank. I want to eat it.

No I don't. Yes I do--if it's edible, which I don't think it is.

Noticing the mints now more than ever, especially the big, stationary one on my screen. The mint is sparkly; I like that. I want to eat it (too). I like it when a mint is sparkly. That means the mint has mint on it. The mint has little flecks of mint on it.

Yummy.

I love sucking the mint flecks off of mints I do I do I do.

(: Or at least trying to :)

Brb, famished.

SL/Attempt to locate Swamp Monster pt. 2

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I went to Pappy Enoch's "office," expecting to find him there, but he wasn't in. Pappy's yard was basically empty; only his junk remained.
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I invited Yetrates over for a quick stakeout.
It wasn't Pappy we were after, necessarily, it was the swamp monster he's been blogging about.
Pappy's been describing a swamp monster that's been harassing him and he's offered $100L for its pic (and to prove he hasn't been oversampling his own moonshine).
Speaking of shine, we found plenty of evidence that Pappy left in a hurry.
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I didn't want to get near his still-hot still, though, for fear of boobytrappment. Although I did notice a sign welcoming "Stew-dints."
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Out of the corner of my eye I saw water, then movement. I told Yet to turn around, expecting to see a swamp (and a swamp monster); instead we saw dolphins. I told Yetrates it was not out of the realm of possibilities to see dolphins in a swamp.
It was dark out, and we couldn't tell for sure, but Yetrates assured me we were looking at the ocean.
I reminded her that the Gulf-of-Mexico has about a million dolphins in it, and feeding into the Gulf is the Everglades, so it's very possible that dolphins could end up in a swamp.
I suggested we find out. The boat wasn't working, though, which led to brief stoner talk:

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[16:21] Yetrates Bates: touch them to swim ike that
[16:21] Patric Styrian: i wouldn't dare touch a dolphin, would you?
[16:22] Yetrates Bates: it would be awwsome to swim whit them
[16:22] Yetrates Bates: bare naked
[16:22] Yetrates Bates: hha
[16:22] Patric Styrian: i am 3 miles from dolphins
[16:22] Patric Styrian: i get naked
[16:22] Yetrates Bates: damn lucky you
[16:22] Patric Styrian: damn me?
[16:23] Patric Styrian: you get to smoke dope legally in Holland
[16:23] Patric Styrian: damn you

SL/Chicken convo.

Angelaa Capalini: are just now seeing me?

Patric Styrian: i see you standing there seductively

Angelaa Capalini: hmm

Angelaa Capalini: well if you knew what I was eating

Angelaa Capalini: you might want even more of me

Patric Styrian: a watermellon?

Angelaa Capalini: no fake chicken

Patric Styrian: fake chicken what?

Angelaa Capalini: I saw you dont eat much meat

Patric Styrian: what body part exactly

Angelaa Capalini: and I dont eat any

Angelaa Capalini: but I do eat fake chicken

Patric Styrian: yeah, breast, leg, which?

Angelaa Capalini: nada

Angelaa Capalini: soy

Angelaa Capalini: I think

Angelaa Capalini: not sure

Angelaa Capalini: not sure I want to know

Patric Styrian: lol this conversation is classic stoner convo

Angelaa Capalini: what fake chicken consists of

Stoner Nude Beach

A few things were overheard at Stoner Beach by the "guy who didn't want to get naked." At Stoner Beach, clothing is optional...and it's understandable not to want to get naked since you are already paranoid. However, this gentleman thought tattoos were the solution to his panic:

1. "Um, I want your tattoos."
2. "If one is coated with tattoos, then one is never completely naked."
3. "How much ink do you have to have before you are declared no longer naked?"

Second Life/SL Stoner conversation between Milo and Muwa: Punchable Time Pillow

Milo: oh shit dude
Milo: now i see what time is it
Muwa: nooo
Muwa: time is my worst enemy on SL
Milo: here its 2:40am dude i must go to sleep dude
Muwa: i want to get chased by a giant clock representing real time
Muwa: it will be like a nightmare
Milo: we must buy some clock
Milo: and put it in house
Milo: to take time in usa and in serbia
Muwa: we need to combine our times
Muwa: i will take the second hand if you want the hour hand
Milo: lol
Milo: for me its too late stupid time
Muwa: i want to be able to punch Time
Milo: to you its about 8pm thats wright?
Milo: *at yours place
Muwa: we need to construct a huge punchable Time pillow
Milo: dude i really must go
Muwa: ok
Muwa: get
Milo: cya tomorrow
Muwa: git
Muwa: cya then
Milo: i must get up at 11:30am

Second Life/Niypi and Jace

Niypi is a girl I know from Dusty's nightclub. I invited her to see my place and before we knew it we came across a dog named Jace. Jace was down-and-out because his girlfriend--a fox--told him she was leaving SL. (!)
Here is Niypi consoling Jace with a big hug.

We then spent several minutes chasing Jace because he somehow got loose. Jace ended up underneath a furniture store, and my head kept banging into the ceiling (floor) trying to coax him back.

Finally, Jace followed us back to my house. (Here is Jace going directly for the couch.)

After a while we left my place and teleported to Niypi's cabin up north. Jace and I spent a good hour watching Niypi rearrange her furniture. Then Jace got depressed and began howling, then barking at the door for us to let him out.

Against our better judgement we let him out and Jace began running around Niypi's property, howling his head off. We heard the most gut-wrenching howls that night.
Finally there was barking at the door and we let Jace back in.
More hugs.

We went out into the yard and Niypi unveiled a surprise: a Peanuts nativity scene. Wow! (For some reason I am holding a stoner concert lighter.)

The lake reminded me of the lake in El Alamein (from the game Battlefield 1942). So I waded into it, still holding the stoner concert lighter.

Jace met me back on shore, having transformed into Snoopy. What a nice gesture. Everyone loves to come out of a winter lake seeing Snoopy on shore.

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I took Jace for a walk in the hills. Here Jace does his business.

I couldn't get him to leave. Jake seems very proud of his business.

Standing on two legs.

Here we are at the fantastic Santa scene next door.