SL/Turkey Journey

At Freebie Planet

Before entering the store, per usual, I asked if they allowed turkeys in the place. I promised not to leave anything behind--not even a feather. In fact, I swore to only leave my money behind.

"It's Freebie Planet, birdbrain" someone shouted. "Come in anyway."

They had no compelling reason to let me in, but they did. I shall never forget their generosity, nor the noise their shoes made on the tiled floor. The first thing I did was walk around. I saw people of all ages, all nationalities.

Then I saw someone you definitely wouldn't want to see as a turkey, a Mohican.

But he was a vegetarian Mohican, as it turns out, so I didn't have to wet the floor.

Then I saw another thing you wouldn't want to see as a turkey: a cat. But this cat was inside an orb, so I felt somewhat safe. "A Pokemon," the cat explained. "Does that mean you abstain from eating meat?" I asked.

"Only red meat," she said.

Gulp.

/

Oh, the gulps turkeys can get away with having those ridiculous necks. My gulp must have lasted 30 seconds.

More bad news: I saw a vehicle on the loose. Vehicles were very upsetting to me and the cat.

We had that in common.

"HIGH TAIL IT" I screamed.

SL/Story/part one/Possible Sploder Sighting

I wish I had gotten a picture of a Sploder before they all went away. Just one picture! Rumor has it there is a warehouse where the Sploders are being kept. For those of you who don't know, the Sploder was a ball typically found in a club that SPLODED with money in it. One lucky individual could win up to 80% of the take. Now that gambling is history, the Sploder is history too. The warehouse currently holds, like, 5,000 Sploders, I'm told. The fate of these Sploders is unknown. Will they be converted into Prize Orbs? Or will something more sinister happen?
A friend of mine flew over the (alleged) warehouse in a UFO last weekend. He didn't get any photographs, but he said the door opened long enough for him to see a Sploder inside.
I called several people in the area, but none reported seeing any Sploders. One person did say he heard, and I quote, "FEED THE SPLODER."
"He actually heard that?"
"Yes, he claimed it was more like a shout. And it wasn't really a request--it was an order."
I found some binoculars on sale at the Kenyan Safari Hut and went to find out for myself.
'FEED THE SPLODER' sounded like a war cry to me. The Sploders were known to browbeat people all over the world with the words, 'FEED THE SPLODER' back in the day. Now that they've been forced into silence, this could mean trouble.

SL/Encounters in Welcome Area pt. 18/Leave Britney Alone

Soy was handed a gesture. This is what it looked and sounded like.

/

raw file

SL/Need to eat more

Overheard

"I have nothing in my inventory except booze. Furthermore, I am declining all gifts except booze right now."

SL/Milo's Back

Milo returned, saying he'd been spending time with a girl named Marica in real life (in Serbia). Marica and him are so smitten about each other that she apparently followed him into Second Life so she could spend more time with him.
"You are allowed 30 flings while in SL," I told them. "After that, you may get suspended."
Milo had a new tattoo that I couldn't decipher that looked like a spider. Turkeys are known to eat spiders so I told him that turkeys were inherently superior to spiders, even though spiders are known for their elaborate webs.
"Yet turkeys never are in tattoos," I dismayed.

SL/Tales of the Turkey

At the club, I hovered atop Elle's dance pole, which resembled an egg (sort of). I threatened to either leave a mess on it, or give birth to it, depending on the crowd's mood. Seriously, it was a fun place to perch and watch the lovely Elle perform, while staying away from humans.

Turkey (Patric): i try not to show humans my legs
Abfab Hax: You got some sexy ass breast meat on ya, Turkey! Bom-chicka -Wah-Wah!!
Turkey: dont compare me with a chicken
Turkey: my breasts are better

Earlier, I had spent time on Abfab's head, which may have been the best nest ever. Certainly the most glamorous. But also short-lived. She loves to dance, so my time there was limited. Then the dance pole became a possibility... How I flew there I'll never know. I landed next to Elle, and got the best seat in the house.

Sexy Elle. Her body was such a pleasure to watch. Writhing. She is a DJ, so she was writhing and talking at the same time. Incredible.

Then

[18:35] Maxwell Negulesco: WOOT!

and my head nearly hit the ceiling. What a shocker! Turkeys have fragile constitutions, so please watch your WOOTS.

And your Wolf howls.

And WhooHoos!

But wolf howls especially. And woots!

I recovered...barely. Elle brought me back down to earth with her saucy, warm voice.

I thought of Thanksgiving somehow. Elle's voice made me think of a warm, saucy Thanksgiving...

Dear God. I thought of my own predicament. Would I be microwaved? How would Elle react to me when the holidays started? Would she prefer me with gravy?

Then I heard someone at the club call me 'plump'. Plump? Since when does somebody call you 'plump' unless it's a compliment?

Plump?

I was getting nervous. That thing on my neck, the red thing, the thing no one seems to remember what it's called (it's called a wattle by the way). It began to vibrate. Bad.

Badly. Sorry.

It was time to go.

SL/More trials of the turkey

My turkey is less than one foot tall, which makes him vulnerable to being overlooked.

Yetrates didn't recognize me even though were were on the same roof.

I used the trampoline to show her it was possible for me to fly.

Yetrates said she had

a turkey car in her Inventory, and believe it or not she did! I rode around in it, but it was remote controlled. Yetrates nearly flipped me over! This is me facing straight up.

"If it rains, I'm dead."

The car disappeared. She saw me admiring her Lamborghini.

Yetrates Bates: dont poo on the lamboo ok

Patric: i try not to

Yetrates Bates: ok

Yetrates Bates: cuz when you do

Yetrates Bates: you need to clean it

Patric: I hire a human for that

Yetrates Bates: lol

Yetrates Bates: turkey hires human

Patric: to feed me as well as take care of my doo

Patric: In return, you get to eat me

Yetrates Bates: hahah

Yetrates Bates: i fry you up

Patric: don't eat me unless you can prove you are an excellent chef

Yetrates Bates: i am

Yetrates Bates: i have some hamburgers on the roof

Patric: yeah, true

Patric: you seasoned them just right

Patric: go ahead, you can fry me

Yetrates Bates: darn running out of weed sucks as hell

Patric: i wish i could pass you some

Patric: someday they will have the technology for that

Yetrates Bates: some U.S. weed

Yetrates Bates: lol

Patric: yeah, you will be able to partake of some U.S. weed...and me some Dutch weed

Patric: i can even sample some Turkish hash

/
Yetrates Bates: lol turkey

Patric: you can blindfold me and stick a tube in my mouth and i can tell you what nation is responsible for what weed

Yetrates Bates: hahaha lol

Yetrates Bates: you go Turkey

SL/Consequences of Voice pt. 6

Because of Voice, and because of the ability to pick up dates at virtual bars now using your real voice, an emergency animation had to be made of a drink being splashed in your face.

Observations while being a Turkey

Since I am going to be a turkey for the next few months, I thought it would be fun to record my observations, especially in the days leading up to Thanksgiving.
Since November and December are both associated with turkey, I thought it would be interesting to see if Halloween would acknowledge turkey too.
The next month or two I will be showing up at various harvest or Halloween-type events, attempting to blend in with the local scenery. A turkey should be included even on pagan holidays.
---
Hippie Island













A turkey wandering the grounds of Hippie Island is a surprising sight. I didn't have any hair, just feathers. I decided to let my feathers grow out. Plumage. Beautiful plumage. One hippie said "GET LOST." I told him my back was against the bonfire. "You don't want fried turkey, do you?" He didn't respond. I felt the warmth of the fire against my back. "I'm already baked!" He didn't say anything, but his mouth did start to water. The hippies are prone to munchies, and a walking-talking turkey wouldn't necessarily turn off a determined hippie, so I waddled out of there as fast as I could. "Learn to trot, learn to trot, dammit" I kept telling myself.

Accessibilty Good

I found a surprisingly high number of walkways and entryways that were turkey-accessible. No problem getting in almost anywhere.

Dance Club

Someone asked how the dance balls worked, and I said in order to dance you had to sit on one, believe it or not. Then I was asked to dance. I declined, saying sitting on a ball would be too much like work, since I was a turkey.

SL/Encounters in Welcome Area pt. 17/Learning to fly

Gideon was learning to fly.
but he kept hitting his head on the ceiling.

Finally, he just remained on the ground, doing a flapping animation.