SL/Treed

Speaking of trees...
I followed my good friend Uva Oxide (a tree) into a pop art exhibit where soup cans grabbed hold of us.
They carried us up to the ceiling and told us we were lovers/haters of pop art, before releasing us.
Here is Uva shrugging afterwards.
Here is a full moon seen through one of the windows.



I asked Uva if the moon had any influence over his growth, or was it all sun.
He didn't respond because he'd vanished.

There was no sign of his stump, either, so he was really missing.

SL/Tree house

I'm a turkey again, after foiling the 'freak' in me. Elle helped me become a turkey again, because, as a freak in her club I felt terribly out of place. At least as a turkey people have a reason to smile at me.

This is my neighbor lady's place, who seems to have exchanged her Space Needle apartment for what looks like a treehouse overlooking the pool.

As a turkey, I feel I have a right to stay in her tree house.

SL/Freaky

I couldn't rez as my usual avatar, nor could I rez as my back-up avatar (see below), so I ended up being a combination of both: a turkey/elephant (but with a rat's tail) and some human characteristics. (Thank you SL for making me a FREAK.)
I met two women doctors who offered to give me a (non-) free check up.

This is me sitting on the edge of their bed--a freak.

"Examine me please," I pleaded, "and please tell me that I'm a healthy freak."

Freak: ...and again, sorry about the tail
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Is that grey clothes? or are you nude
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Because we are doing a body examination, correct?
Freak: i think it's my skin
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Oh
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Is that your only skin?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..So What Color Would you Expect your Skin Color To Be?
Freak: blushing red
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Considerate Done!
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Alright.. please tell me what you would like. Body examination, correct sir?
Freak: yes, i need to find out among other things if i am in possession of a penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Alright..
Freak: and nipples
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay.
Freak: and if i can be tattooed or not
Dr. Natalie Laughton: We can do a penis transplant
Freak: can i pick which celebrity penis i want?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: sure
Freak: i want the Lou Ferigno
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright
Dr. Natalie Laughton: now this is going to cost for the surgery, and the penis
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Thank you..That's All The Information We Need.
Freak: it will cost me my virginity that's for certain
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..Can we Please Explain To you?
Freak: without a penis i've led a carefree life
Dr. Natalie Laughton: okay sir i think we know enough about your personal life
Dr. Natalie Laughton: now about the transplant
Dr. Evonna Emmons: We Buy The Stuff..And We Help you..So..Yes you would habe to..
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Have*
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Excuse My Language.
Freak: Would you like a man if you knew deep down he didn't have a penis?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok so
Dr. Natalie Laughton: doctor emmons
Dr. Natalie Laughton: how much will the surgery cost?
Freak: this surgery will cost an arm and a leg
Dr. Natalie Laughton: please sir
Dr. Evonna Emmons: The Surgery Will be About..i say 20 Lindens..Because..Its Changed you Very Differently.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and the penis will be 10
Dr. Natalie Laughton: we are very inexpensive here
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok now the penis
Freak: a 10 dollar penis...
Dr. Natalie Laughton: well
Dr. Natalie Laughton: how much do you have
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ?
Freak: my whole lifetime dreaming of one, and you offer a 10 dollar penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: its nice..
Freak: can i see it?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Well In Real Life?you have to Pay For Surgery..So we do It Here.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: lol
Freak: i promise i wont touch it
Dr. Evonna Emmons: lol.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: uhm
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Are you going to Buy it?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ill attach it to my arm so u can see it
Freak: you expect me to make life altering decisions in a hurry don't you?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ok
Dr. Natalie Laughton: so when i click it

Dr. Natalie Laughton: it can go regular, and erect
Freak: see me shaking?

Dr. Natalie Laughton: yup
Freak: that means i am thrilled
Dr. Natalie Laughton: okay so want the surgery?
Freak: yes, i think so
Freak: who is going to perform it?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: both
Dr. Natalie Laughton: of us
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Please...Pay The Amount...First.
Freak: Are you both going to be sterile? Or is it my job to be sterile?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..First Before we start The Surgery Can you Please Pay it?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: The Amount...For The Surgery
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Thank you
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Natalie
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Please Give him The Penis.
Dr. Evonna Emmons: He's Paid.
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Ok
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Lets do the surgery
Freak: don't hand it to me
Freak: fit it on me
Dr. Evonna Emmons: You have to Have It Sir.
Freak: but i want you to have it
Freak: for awhile
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Ok. Ill tell you what
Dr. Natalie Laughton: ill give it to u, then ill act like i am putting it on after u put it on
Dr. Natalie Laughton: will that make you happy?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: lol.
Freak: no
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Then What Will?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Well there is no other way
Dr. Natalie Laughton: What do you want
Freak: i want you to give me a penis AND one of your lips
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Uh
Dr. Natalie Laughton: We are not permitted to do that
Dr. Natalie Laughton: sir
Freak: you can make copies
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Woah..You Wen't To Far Sir.
Freak: oh, and i don't know which lip
Freak: if i had to choose one...
Freak: i'd say tongue
Freak: forget about lip i want tongue instead
Dr. Evonna Emmons: If you aren't going to Do This Right..Can you Please Just Say So..We aren't Allowed..To Do This..To Any Client Sir..We Are Here To Do our Job..Right.
Freak: wow, that was a lot of capitalization, i appreciate that
Dr. Evonna Emmons: What Color Skin Again Sir?
Freak: um, flesh colored
Freak: turkey colored flesh
Dr. Natalie Laughton gave you Scripted Penis by SH Hospital.
Freak: thank you, i can feel it already
Freak: it's still in my Inventory and wanting to get out
IM: Natalie Laughton: Please attach the penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: Okay. Search Scripted Penis
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and it should come up [so I attach it]
Dr. Natalie Laughton: woops
Freak: it came up under my arm
Dr. Natalie Laughton: let me try this again

Freak: that looks like a mini turkey
Dr. Natalie Laughton: detach it
Dr. Natalie Laughton: and ill give you a new one
Dr. Evonna Emmons Gently Puts Skin Cream On your Skin..
Dr. Evonna Emmons: You Should Turn Color's In 5 Minutes Sir.
Dr. Natalie Laughton gave you New Scripted Penis by SH Hos.
Freak: lol
Freak: what a job
Freak: ok, thank you
Dr. Natalie Laughton: wait
Dr. Natalie Laughton: were not done
Dr. Natalie Laughton: !
Freak: oooh
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Natalie Still Has to Fix Your Skin..
Dr. Natalie Laughton gently applys cream onto Patric's penis area.
Freak: that tingles
Dr. Natalie Laughton puts cream on Patric's penis.
Freak: ice cream
Dr. Natalie Laughton waits a few minutes for the cream to dry.
Natalie Laughton puts lotion everywhere the cream was.
Freak: thanks for not missing a spot
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Anytime.
Dr. Natalie Laughton applys lotion on the penis.
Freak: from now on my penis asks that it be called by its more technical name, cock
Dr. Natalie Laughton: uh ok
Freak: Wait, i forgot to properly name it
Freak: do you want to hold the naming ceremony now?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir..We Aren
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Here For This..Can you Please Let is Finish?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright do you need anymore cream or lotion?
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Us*
Dr. Natalie Laughton: we need the penis to be erect in order for the surgery to be finished
Freak: ok, which button?

Freak: is there a mole i should be looking for?
Dr. Natalie Laughton: no
Dr. Evonna Emmons: No.Sor.
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Sir*
Dr. Natalie Laughton: im asking
Dr. Natalie Laughton: are you 'hard'

Freak: i am hard of hearing and hard after hearing
Dr. Natalie Laughton: kk its erect:

Freak: yes, you made it hard
Freak: thank you
Freak: just by talking about it
Freak: the slightest bit of attention, it does its thing
Dr. Natalie Laughton: alright... we need to finish attaching your 'cock'

Freak: be sensitive, i'm poultry most of the time
Dr. Evonna Emmons: Okay..Sir.Can you Please Not Intterupt Natalie?She's Trying..To Do her Job..Can you not Leave Any Of your Comments Here Please.

Dr. Natalie Laughton: Thank you ev
Evonna Emmons: I'll Run Down..The Hall..To Get Some..Tools..For This Surgery. [she leaves, Dr. Laughton stays]
Freak: sorry for commenting during your sentence breaks

Freak thinks What's taking her so long?
[from down the hall] Dr. Evonna Emmons: Dr. Laughton-The Receptionist Needs To Talk to you In a Second..Please Finsh What your Are Doing Ma'am
Dr.Natalie Laughton puts a special numbing cream on his balls.
Dr.Natalie Laughton: Ok ill be rite back
Freak: hey wait a sec....
Dr.Natalie Laughton: hm?
Freak: that's the oldest trick in the book, getting called away
Freak: meanwhile i'm sitting here with numbing agent
Dr.Natalie Laughton: sir, ill be right back
Dr.Natalie Laughton: be good please..and we will be good to you
Freak: i'll be good and try not to open any drawers

SL/SL Made Me a Freak

I logged in as an incomplete turkey, which made me not too happy, so I switched to an emergency elephant back-up, which didn't rez properly, either, so this is what I turned into--a freak. The buck teeth and hat are from another avatar that I tried to switch to and failed--a hobo.
I logged out, cleared my cache, restarted my computer, and the problem persisted: I'm a freak.
Problem is, there are still places to go and people to see. Am I going as a freak?
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I guess so...
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Hallelujah, I'ma freak!

SL/Missing Milo leads to The Vagina Dialog

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I met with Ulises, the Spaniard, who asked if I'd seen Milo, our Serbian buddy, and I had to say "no" (at least not lately). And the word "no" he understood right away, since it was a Spanish word too. He doubly understood me.

"We need to look in Lost and Found," I suggested. (Does Second Life have one?)

"I've looked there already. Nothing," he said.

I told Ulises I had to use the sandbox. "Brb," I told him.

After a minute or so I returned and asked him why he hadn't kept typing while I was away since I use cordless headphones. He didn't understand, so I explained it was okay to keep typing while I was away in real life, since I can hear the typing noises anywhere I go, and I completely understand "typing."

"I can hear every word you're spelling out" I told him.

"Sure..." said Ulises.

Ulises wanted to leave and go somewhere else. Fine, I told him. When he asked what on earth was taking me so long, I told him I was waiting for a leash.

Ulises Snook: Leash?
Patric: I don't go anywhere unless I'm leashed.
Patric: sorry, policy.

"I am not gay," I reminded him after a few moments, "yet get a leash."

We decided to stay.

Ulises at first thought I was Serbian, not a Floridian, because of the "Milo connection." We got to talking about languages and he said he had taken French in high school but needed to brush up on it again. I suggested that Second Life was the perfect place to re-learn it rather than travelling up north. He said most French people speak English in SL.
I said that's only because he hadn't bumped into any yet. "That way you'll at least get reacquainted with the curse words."
He said I sounded American, not Serbian. (I kinda liked the idea I was mistaken for a Serbian.)

"We are all one people," I said.

I said Americans used to be one color: white, with a wee bit of pink. Now we are slowly becoming brown.

"Like a turkey" I said.

Ulises said he had to return to the States soon. To Madison, especially.

"No one's in Madison right now," he said.

"What's her last name?" I asked.

"Madison is a town. lol. WI."

"We don't speak of WI very much for some reason."

"Why not?"

"It is like a secret place. Away from the hubbub."

"Hubbub?"

"Hubbub is like daily fracas. Except 'fracas' has nothing to do with 'France,' except I think they invented it."

He said Madison, WI is a college town with lots of pretty girls, and plenty to drink. I asked how many of them were stoners. He said he didn't think many of them were stoners.

"Too bad," I said. "I'd rather hang out with the stoners than the drinkers."

It was creeping up on 4:20...

[16:10] Patric: i divide the world into two parts
[16:10] Patric: the alcohol users and the rest of us
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i like the beer a lot
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i started late
[16:10] Ulises Snook: 5 years ago or so
[16:10] Ulises Snook: i just drink beer, mostly
[16:11] Patric: do you like it so much you now use it for cooking?
[16:11] Ulises Snook: i don't like the other alcohol drinks
[16:11] Ulises Snook: i just cook chicken with beer
[16:11] Ulises Snook: pollo a la cerveza
[16:11] Patric: if i gave you a beer spiked with wine, would you drink it?
[16:11] Ulises Snook: a mixture?
[16:11] Patric: yes
[16:11] Ulises Snook: no
[16:11] Patric: ok
[16:11] Patric: a true alchy would
[16:11] Ulises Snook: you?
[16:12] Patric: no
[16:12] Ulises Snook: i am not alchy
[16:12] Ulises Snook: i just like beer
[16:12] Patric: i see
[16:12] Ulises Snook: and get drunk with it
[16:12] Patric: beer has made me get to know my bladder more
[16:12] Patric: before, i barely knew it
[16:12] Ulises Snook: bladder?
[16:12] Patric: bladder is the organ which holds urine
[16:13] Ulises Snook: vejiga, i got it
[16:13] Patric: not vejina
[16:13] Patric: bladder
[16:13] Ulises Snook: no
[16:13] Ulises Snook: vagina is other thing
[16:13] Patric: lol
[16:13] Patric: barely
[16:13] Ulises Snook: lol
[16:13] Patric: how do you say vagina?
[16:13] Ulises Snook: same
[16:13] Patric: is it a common spanish word?
[16:14] Ulises Snook: but the g sounds different
[16:14] Ulises Snook: no,
[16:14] Ulises Snook: we say coño
[16:14] Ulises Snook: coño=pussy
[16:14] Patric: we say pussy too
[16:15] Patric: there must be a country where vagina isn't a word and we could move there and name our daughter by that name and encounter no problems
[16:15] Patric: brb
[16:15] Ulises Snook: i think vagina is very common in many languages

SL/Good Night pt. 3

Tonight marks the third night I've shown up at this place, and here he is again. This time he's wearing a suit. Meanwhile, his seatmate's beard has grown out a little.

If my calculations are correct, they've earned about $50L, just by sitting there, and eventually they'll go somewhere else where they can earn money standing up.

I once was at a dance hall where you got paid to dance, and the longer you danced, the more money you got. If you went on a break, however, or stopped dancing for whatever reason, you lost all your earnings. You literally had to keep dancing non-stop for 10 hours before they paid you. One couple I saw was into their seventh or eighth hour dancing, and you could tell they were tired. He kept calling her by different names. She stopped using her space bar altogether so her words cametogetherlikethis. I don't know if they finished or not because I was forced to drop out after the first hour because a bot asked me a surprise question while I was away visiting the fridge, and because I didn't answer, I got disqualified by the bot, who assumed I was using a script to stay "alive" in Second Life while sneaking away in real life. Does that make sense? I appealed to the owners of the club to see if I could get my hour back, and they said "no," that I would have to start all over again, and to answer any questions the bot should ask me.

Someone asked me what was the question was, and I said I had no idea. The bot just told me I was "busted" for not answering its question.

When I inquired what the question was, the bot just looked at me.

To me, it seems like bots don't like answering questions themselves.

SL/Good Night pt. 2

Good Night part 2, stoner style (see below for part 1)

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I rezzed to the very last place I left (both seats now occupied).

"hello again, Johnni"
"hey"
"shirtless, enjoying afternoon sun?"
"way too hot"
"who is the dude? next to you? ...wait...i don't know how to refer to him"


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Johnnie: i dont know either
Patric: i mean to her
Patric: i mean to him
[18:03] Patric: i mean to her
[18:03] You: this makes me anxious
[18:03] Johnni: never realy looked at it him/her
[18:04] You: you are more interested in making money than looking?
[18:04] You decline The Hummingbird Cafe, Menorca (58, 11, 23) from A group member named Leira Vaughan.
[18:04] Leo Ra [Johnni's real name]: yeah, i'm in im's
[18:04] Leo Ra: i not too long ago came from some club
[18:04] You: it reminds me of the sandwich--club, i don't like it
[18:04] Leo Ra: he has ok looking boobs but i aint tuchen em
[18:05] Patric: please don't call them boobs
[18:05] Patric: please call them breasts
[18:05] Leo Ra: dont know what to call em
[18:05] Turkey: well, we turkeys call them breasts
[18:05] Leo Ra: how about he-she boobs
[18:06] Turkey: it's a unique look
[18:06] Leo Ra: ha yeah
[18:07] Turkey: i think it may have to do with the sun going down
[18:07] Leo Ra: like a druid ha
[18:08] Patric: i stop talking now. i want to watch you guys earning money
[18:10] Patric: that's what i do for fun

SL/Good Night

In Doll City, which Elle co-founded, there is a camping bench, where a camper can earn $L just by sitting.

Johnni had earned $18L by the time I arrived. I figured he'd been sitting close to an hour.

"Keep it up," I told him. "There's a bonus in it for you."

"Bonus?" Johnni asked.

"Tonight, when the clocks go back an hour, you get an extra hour's payout. Congratulations."

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He was stunned. He hadn't thought about the time change, nor had be planned on sitting that long. It was merely 8 o'clock.

"What if I don't want to participate?" he asked.

Was he from another part of the world?

"You must participate, man. You're in too deep already."

"No thanks," he said, standing.

I took over his spot. I wanted to sit on a warm seat, anyway, in preparation for the holiday.

"Not bad," I told him. "I would rate this 175 degrees."

"I'm glad you like it." His body language told me it was time for me to leave.

"I'll leave just as soon as you stop sitting on me" I said.

"What?" his muffled voice said back.

"GET OFFA ME" I shouted.

He had (inadvertantly) sat on me, trying to reclaim the old magic on that side of the bench, I guess, but unfortunately I was still there. He apologized profusely.

"No, I apologize," I interrupted. "I can't tolerate anyone being profuse."

The bench was apparently not big enough for the both of us. So I hopped off.

"I'll be back for any feathers that I may have dropped" I said.

"I'll be sure to save them for you," he replied.

"Good," I said. "And any hairs I stumble across, I'll save them for you too."

"Groovy." He smiled.

"Gracias," I said.

"Gravy" he replied.

"Gross," I whispered.

"Goodnight," he said.

/

"Good night, indeed, with your bonus and all."

SL/Encounters in Welcome Area pt. 26/the meaning of lol

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Castor Breguet: Excuseme if I do an stupid question, but, What means "lol"??

Laurana Lilliehook: lol = laughing out loud
Blane Raymaker: ROTFL
Soy Burger: lol is a trick you do with your tongue
Blane Raymaker: ROTFLMAO

Soy Burger: there is almost too much laughter in Second Life

Soy Burger: it is being blamed by some for lag
Blane Raymaker: lol
---

Fog decided to play dead/furry infestation/warning: cross-talk

Soy Burger: lol Fog
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Fog Tenk: im a corpse
Soy Burger: you are lying low
Soy Burger: nice to meet u, corpse
Soy Burger: a day late aren't we?
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Fog Tenk: give my body to science
Soy Burger: climatology
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Scottish Alcott: fog, dont be upset if they give it right back again matey, lol
Soy Burger: we must first give you a proper burial before we donate you to science
Laurana Lilliehook: lol
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Fog Tenk: i have good parts
Laurana Lilliehook: damn, suddenly I am surrounded by furries
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moog Petrova: yep nice socks foggy
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Soy Burger: no allergies i hope
MANDALANDA Allen: lol
Yobby Slade: it's time for furry infestation
MANDALANDA Allen: Hoooo!
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fist Beaumont howls! "AROOOOOOOoooooooo!"
Soy Burger: furries are here to make sure no one is wearing fur
Laurana Lilliehook: lol
Manny Hamaski: thats so last year
Soy Burger: that is felt on Fog's shirt, not fur
Soy Burger: 'think felt not pelt'
MANDALANDA Allen: Lau, what did you do to Fog?
Fog Tenk: someone should say a few words
Laurana Lilliehook: I did nothing to Fog!!!
MANDALANDA Allen: hehehehe
Soy Burger: Fog was telling us some very lame jokes, finally he just 'died'
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MANDALANDA Allen: poor fog
Soy Burger: he died on stage
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Fog Tenk: we all got to go
Soy Burger: he might be invited back
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Soy Burger: test his reflexes to see if he's alive
Soy Burger: make the horse go to bathroom over him
Soy Burger: see if he reacts
MANDALANDA Allen: doh
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Fog Tenk: i told the devil i was married twice he wants me to give tours in hell
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Soy Burger: Fog has got a pulse
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Soy Burger: he may be the only one around us who does

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Soy Burger: it keeps showing i'm typing although i'm not
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Soy Burger: although, i am
Soy Burger: right now

Seren Qinan: omg!! lag
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Soy Burger: fog is coming to life!
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Soy Burger: i just saw him hump the air
Seren Qinan: i blame csi lol
Soy Burger: put a chalk line around him
Soy Burger: then i get in spot and see if my body is bigger or not
Scottish Alcott: big story on the news tonight as well
moog Petrova: its life jim but not as we know it
[out of Fog's right hand he then released some kind of balls or bubbles that looked like smoke signals]
Soy Burger: Fog is sending out distress signals
Soy Burger: he is calling for Indian doctor
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Seren Qinan: what was on the news scottish?
Soy Burger: i'm not interested in watching the news, unless it is in Scottish
Seren Qinan: lol soy
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[Fog flipped over, and flipped back real quickly]
Soy Burger: Fog just did a nice flip
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Soy Burger: i think he is faking it
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moog Petrova: hahha soy
Soy Burger: that flip was too perfect
MANDALANDA Allen: lol
Soy Burger: tickle him someone
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[someone then whistled]
Soy Burger: when you whistled i saw his ears go up
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-/-True story--
As I was typing the above, I was using headphones, and Second Life was minimized, with the Welcome Area sounds in my ears.
Along came this weird humming noise, which started really low and got louder and louder until I couldn't stand it any longer. I whipped off my headphones to see if it was coming from the outside; nope, it was coming from the inside.
I maximized Second Life and saw these words:

[17:18] Glad Gaffer: either the lord is coming or a UFO

SL/amen.

Manny: pardon my English
Soy: pardon my english, i speak with punctuation.
Adherent: ok
Soy: i don't believe in capitalization, but i strongly believe in punctuation.