SL/Encounters in Welcome Area pt. 16/Hair Loss

Soy was admiring the guy's hat. It didn't look like a regular cowboy hat, it looked more like a Mexican gunfighter's hat. "I will buy that from you for $20L," he said.
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Before he had a chance to put it on, though, he was handed a hat by someone else, and when Soy wore it, it turned out to be pink! Adding insult to injury, it didn't really sit on his head right; more like it hovered over his head--like a UFO.
"Or a dipping tray," someone laughed. "Fill the bottom part with chips, the top part becomes dipp-able."
"Yay! Someone used the word dipp-able in front of me" Soy said dryly.
As it turns out, it was the 53,777th utterance of the word 'dipp-able' in the history of the English and non-English world. Soy was so pleased he got himself a beer.
"Is this how you wear it?" he asked, once he got the beer. When no one laughed, he said, "I'm preparing to get drunk, but I'm not sure on how to make it happen."
Someone said, "Wear it between your lips."
"Ahhh," Soy said. Then he said "arrrggghhhhhhhhh" when he couldn't stand holding it between his lips any longer.
The worst part was when Soy removed the hat (or the UFO)...and the beer bottle: He discovered he had no hair left, or at least none that mattered: the bushy part was gone.
"My essence is missing," Soy alased.
All wasn't lost, though. He spotted a lass who had just turned her back on a non-responding boyfriend and was Editing Her Appearance.
"Ma'am, I hate to bother you, but look," said Soy, "this is kind of an emergency. That hair you're wearing. Do you need all of it?" Soy took a huge gamble that she wouldn't disappear.
"A handful is all I'm asking for," Soy pleaded when she didn't respond.
Ma'am was too involved in Editing her Appearance to care about what Soy was yammering about. Until then, there had been no practical reason for Soy to have sheep sheers in his Inventory.
"Good thing I save everything," he remarked.