SL/Retired Milo was Security/Pool Maintenance Man/Pot Farm ambassador

Since Milo's "retirement" I've no choice but to think seriously about what to do with my property.
One idea is to spread hot lava all over the place and walk away, since lava requires very little maintenance. If I return home and find someone's Inventory items have turned to goo, or, say, hot lead, I will know I've had a trespasser.
Another thing would be to install quicksand all over the place, or better yet, hot quicksand, because I'm told there is a lava-quicksand hybrid you can buy now, which is all the rage in totalitarian sims that have Pacific themes.
One of Milo's jobs was to maintain the pool, so now I'm stuck with a pool that's hosted approximately 18 parties in the past several weeks and hasn't been drained once. Three fat guys, furries, a host from Nickelodeon, chips, fountain coins, you name it, all have been in my pool, not to mention several good-looking women, and I'd like to keep the good-looking women coming back, so if you know someone with pool maintenance/medicine skills, send him/her to me, stat.
Any pool guests would have to be choppered in, thanks to the lava, so I am also looking for an experienced pilot. (Milo is costing more than he knows!)
I had wanted to get the pot farm so big it covered the entire sim. In fact, I wanted to expand it to several islands so that it would be required to have its own ambassador. Milo was to be that ambassador, but he never knew it, aside from this paragraph, so if you're reading this, Milo, you can have the 'ass' from the middle of that word ambassador, because you blew a good opportunity, sir.
Maybe now that Milo is retired he can be that ambassador, since ambassadors are usually retired folks. So if you're reading this, Milo, the job is still open.